Relationships
Self-Care and Social Distance
Some tips and a lot of support for thinking through how you might best care for yourself in this new era of social distance.
A Brief Guide to Consenting with a Nonverbal Partner
What if a partner is nonverbal due to disability? Here are some tips on how to seek and obtain consent and how to generally communicate during sex with a nonverbal partner, so sex can be safe, satisfying and fun for everyone involved.
The Unholy Din of First Dates for Someone With Autism (And How To Avoid It)
The options for people on the Autism spectrum looking to go out on a date are few. This lack of options can help to compound problems people on the Autism spectrum already have with dating. Navigating social hurdles, like avoiding over-talking, while being on a date is, on its own, a plenty daunting prospect. Realizing that the options for a backdrop to a date are exceedingly limited is just adding salt to the wounds. Together, these challenges can make a person feel like the prospect of going out on a date at all is far more trouble than it’s worth.
Well, F*ck Me! It's a Scarleteen Zine!
Say hello to our new zine, F*ck Me! It's a (free!) flight of super-helpful fancy that can help you -- or your intimate companions, your platonic friends, your students, the people who come into your clinic, your younger brother, your favorite cousin, and maybe even your parents -- identify the basics of what you really want and need when it comes to sex with others, and give you a foundation for clear, candid, and meaningful sexual communication.
Ethical Horniness, Or How To Find A Partner In An Enthusiastic Consent World
The news is full of the wrong ways to try to have sex. Forever we’ve seen high profile men – almost always men – chasing people for sex, abusively. For the last few years, some high-profile men have been held at least a little accountable for it, which means it is not always swept under the rug anymore. But now that the abuse is more visible, if you stare into that abyss long enough, it might start to stare back at you. You could end up lying on your bed wondering if being a guy while being horny is somehow inherently tainted and gross. Most of us want to find someone or a few someones, for relationships or hookups, but right now, looking at some of that foulness, it might feel like trying to find a partner is a minefield of red flags because men’s sexuality is inextricably abusive.
It isn't.
Expressing Your Needs Isn’t Asking Somebody For “Favors”
It can be hard for anybody to ask for help. For individuals on the Autism spectrum or anyone with some kind of disability, it can be an especially trying task. Here's a little advice from someone who knows.
Becoming Out: a totally non-exhaustive, step by step guide to coming out
We hope every time you open up to someone about your truth they respond with love and kindness. But we also want to make sure you're prepared in case they don't, and give you some practical strategies and tools to look after yourself if that’s what happens. With that in mind, here's a new, totally non-exhaustive, step by step guide to coming out.
Embracing Newbiehood: How to Approach Dating and Sex in Your 20s With Little or No Experience
It can feel like the world will end if you haven’t had sex or a sexual or romantic relationship by your mid-twenties. There are countless ways in which our culture puts pressure on young people to gain experience in romantic and sexual relationships. But truthfully, if you don’t have much, or even any, experience with dating and sex, you are not doomed to never experience romantic and sexual connection. The world also will not end.
The Quiet Voice: How I Stopped Listening to Emotional Abuse
Some forms of abuse, like physical abuse or some kinds of sexual assault, are more easily identified by victims or witnesses. Conversely, gaslighting is a type of non-event, a toxic presence that chips away at a person’s wellbeing over time. Gaslighting is a powerful abuse tactic, although a lesser known one. It is notoriously difficult to understand and recognize, especially for a victim.
Sex and Parent Caregivers
Depending on your disability, everything involving sex may require help – and if your parent is your primary caregiver, bringing up these topics (let alone asking for assistance with them) is not an easy task. It is possible to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship and sex life as a disabled person with a parent caregiver (or any other kind of caregiver). Here's a guide to help you out in this department.
I'm a Mom Through Adoption Working To Recognize What My Daughter and Her Other Mother Have Lost
The day my daughter was born was the happiest of my life. It also just so happened to be one of the hardest for her other mama.
How Do I Tell a Date I'm Autistic?
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all process for tackling this issue, but here's a little help from one person with Autism to another, so you can figure out some concrete ways of scaling what can feel like an immense social mountain.
Man to Man: On Sex, Masculinity, and Being Yourself
Gender norms are really hard, but are much easier to deal with when we learn we’re not alone. When we can talk openly about the pressures we’re feeling, and realize that those pressures don’t have to control their lives, we can start figuring out ways to resist them.
When Worlds Collide: Dating and Dealing With Parents
You’re facing down a process that, according to a bazillion sitcoms and teen dramas, ought to fill you with dread: introducing the person you're dating to your parents and trying to peacefully navigate their feelings about your budding romance.
Disability and Dating: I'm Sexy, Seated, and Single Forever
It took a long time for me to come to terms with my singledom, but now that I'm here, I couldn't be happier.
Just the Basics, Ace: An Asexuality Primer
Think you might be asexual, or just curious about the ace community? Alaina Leary has the details.
Wilderness Tips: A Survival Guide For Your Sexual Adventures
Surviving in the sexual wilds -- and having your great adventures be just that, great -- involves some basic smarts, skills and conscious effort. Let’s see what we can do to help make all your trails happy ones.
How to Clash with Love: Some Conflict Resolution Basics
A starter guide to managing and resolving interpersonal conflict.
Reproductive Coercion: An intimate partner violence you might be overlooking
What is reproductive coercion, how can you spot it and what can you do about it if you do?
A First Polyamory Guide
(Mostly) everything (okay, okay, not mostly everything, but a lot) you wanted to know about polyamory.
Puppy Love: The Do's & Don'ts of Crushes (With Help from a Very Small Dog)
What to do, and what to avoid like the plague, when you're crushing on someone hard.
When, Where, and Why: Telling Your Partner You Have an STI
So, you've got an STI. How do you tell current or potential partners?
Dating and Gender Roles when One Partner is Trans
What do you do in dating when one person is trans and one is cisgender?
Higher Learning: Navigating Sex and Relationships in College
Going away to school can present some new sexual challenges. Here's a get-you-started guide to grow on.
What’s In A No?
What's so scary about asking when someone else may say no? Rejection. Read on to dial down the fear factor and learn to accept no like a pro.