Dating

If you’re used to only dating women or girls and nonbinary people and only being in straight-passing relationships, it can feel daunting to think about dating guys.

Finding it tough to discover single people in your traditional social outings? Speed dating could seemingly function as a remedy. Lisa Laman checks it out and reports back.

If you have a pass/fail mindset about dating, you might end up labeling almost every dating experience a failure. But what you think is failure can actually be a dating developmental task accomplishment.

Things can and sometimes do go badly on dates. Let’s look at just some of the various ways a date can go wrong and ways to deal with these problems.

I did not feel ready to navigate possible transphobia alone, I needed backup. I was expecting to have that for this date via the person I was on the date with. Without her, I felt trapped in a restaurant where I felt other patrons looking at me or whispering about me. This was a steakhouse in the heart of Plano, Texas.

Many social norms, macro or micro, can make it seem like the ideal — or even only! — time to start having dating experiences is in high school. You may get the message that doing it any other time, even just waiting until you’re in college, puts you at some kind of disadvantage. To go against that grain may inspire some social judgement of you and, at least in my case, leave you wondering if you’re just fulfilling a harmful stereotype about what autistic people are capable and incapable of doing. Even if it’s impossible to remember amidst the din of outside messaging world, there is no one right time for dating. That’s as true for neurodivergent folks, including those of us on the autism spectrum, as it is for neurotypical members of the world.

If you’re like me, there are lots of questions that race through your mind when you prepare to go out on a date. Do I look polished enough? Am I going to click with this person? Did we pick the right venue to go out to? And then there’s the one question always gnawing at the back of my skull about my autism: can I be myself?

Dynamics like mine require a lot of honesty, and often speaking honestly can make you feel vulnerable, but showing vulnerability to a partner is a good way to build trust and intimacy. At the same time, you learn a lot about yourself as you're forced to ask yourself tough questions and to think carefully about what you want from a relationship and why - in turn, this makes you appreciate the reasons you want to be with your partner(s), and what it is about being with them that makes you happy.

If you’re a bisexual guy and you haven’t been with other guys yet, the idea might seem a little daunting, for a number of reasons. The reality doesn’t have to be so tricky, however, despite the worries you might have.

If you are a teen or young adult who lives at home during COVID-19, and are dating or sexually active with a partner, navigating this part of your life -- with your partner, with parents or guardians -- is complicated. A lot of households and families are having to negotiate what the new dating normal looks like. Here are some ideas to help make those discussions smoother.