Abuse And Assault
The Scarleteen Safety Plan
If you're in an abusive relationship, to make abuse stop you've got to get away and stay away. Here's help to do that safely, and to be as safe as you can before leaving.
Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?
Want a quick way to sort out what does and does not pose real risks of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections? We've taken the temperature for you here.
Driver's Ed for the Sexual Superhighway: Navigating Consent
As it is on the road, being attentive to and giving clear signs and signals is a big deal between the sheets. If consenting feels complicated or confusing, here's a guide to clear it up.
Pregnancy Scared?
Worried you might be pregnant? Evaluate your risk, find out what steps you may need to take next, check in with your feelings and by all means, breathe. We're here to walk you through it.
STI Risk Assessment: The Cliff's Notes
Need to check out what your sexually transmitted disease or infection risk might be in a jiffy?
We Are Currently Living in an Active Trauma State: An Interview With Jimanekia Eborn
"Those of us that identify within the QTBIPOC community cannot take off our skin the same way we cannot remove our gender and/or our sexuality. We have to continue to have conversations about all of the disparities that are going on. There is not just one way we are affected."
This Guide to Sexual Grooming Can Protect You and Your Friends from Online Abusers
What does sexual grooming look like in online spaces, and how can you protect yourself and your friends from it?
Music With Lyrics: Finding Your Way Back to Yourself After Sexual Assault
The term itself is insufficient and sounds oddly trivial. The word ‘stealth’ has various associations in the Oxford English Dictionary (2020), including ‘secretly and without right or permission’, ‘clandestinely’, ‘furtive’. A stealth action happens quickly and slyly, like the swiping of an appetising sweet by a small child before their parent sees. But stealthing does not just happen surreptitiously, swiftly, or without the total awareness of the victim.
Late Bloomer: A Guide To Orgasm After Rape
When my assault happened, I was stunted in my sexual exploration, and I had no choice but to start anew. I’ve learned it will always be an ongoing battle for me, but a possible feat. Scarleteen readers confronting a comparable situation should know there’s hope for you too. Reclaiming our right to pleasure combats apathy by demonstrating our capacity to enjoy again. While we can’t reverse rape, recovery begins when we remember we have alternatives.
This Isn’t Going to Be Your Forever
Because of the global COVID-19 pandemic, in many households, the strains of closed schools, lost jobs, health issues, and close quarters mean that tensions are high, tempers are short, and privacy has become a luxury. If you’re a young queer person who is now isolated with trans- or homophobic family members, you probably know that better than anyone. Here are a few ideas to help you stay as physically and emotionally safe as possible during these difficult days.
How to Approach Sexual Fantasy and Desire on Your Own Terms
Fantasy is an important part of our relationships with ourselves and our sexual desires. But it can also be a source of shame. How can we find ways to reconnect with our sexual fantasies and create a healthy relationship with desire.
Ethical Horniness, Or How To Find A Partner In An Enthusiastic Consent World
The news is full of the wrong ways to try to have sex. Forever we’ve seen high profile men – almost always men – chasing people for sex, abusively. For the last few years, some high-profile men have been held at least a little accountable for it, which means it is not always swept under the rug anymore. But now that the abuse is more visible, if you stare into that abyss long enough, it might start to stare back at you. You could end up lying on your bed wondering if being a guy while being horny is somehow inherently tainted and gross. Most of us want to find someone or a few someones, for relationships or hookups, but right now, looking at some of that foulness, it might feel like trying to find a partner is a minefield of red flags because men’s sexuality is inextricably abusive.
It isn't.
Sexual Assault Exam: An Insiders Guide
I know that isn’t news to anyone, but I think we forget that sometimes when trying to help our friends or family members who are going through it. We expect them to act “rationally,” like we would, or like we want them to.
But sexual assault is traumatic, and making decisions during and after trauma is complicated. Decisions about who to talk to - the police, a healthcare provider, a friend, a teacher - can feel incredibly complicated. Are they going to believe me? Are they going to listen to me? Are they going to call the police even though I don’t want that? What is going to happen next?
Sexual Harassment in Your Workplace: What to Know, and What You Can Do
What is sexual harassment likely to look like in your life, or the lives of your friends? And what can you actually do about it, whether you’re the target of it, trying to avoid harming people yourself, or you’re the friend of someone who’s being harassed at work?
The Quiet Voice: How I Stopped Listening to Emotional Abuse
Some forms of abuse, like physical abuse or some kinds of sexual assault, are more easily identified by victims or witnesses. Conversely, gaslighting is a type of non-event, a toxic presence that chips away at a person’s wellbeing over time. Gaslighting is a powerful abuse tactic, although a lesser known one. It is notoriously difficult to understand and recognize, especially for a victim.
Will the Real Bad Sex Please Stand Up?
A lot of people are talking about "bad sex" when they mean coercive sex. So let's have a conversation about when sex just isn't satisfying.
Reproductive Coercion: An intimate partner violence you might be overlooking
What is reproductive coercion, how can you spot it and what can you do about it if you do?
Scarleteen Confidential: Supporting a Teen after Sexual Assault
How do you support a teen as they recover from sexual assault?
What’s In A No?
What's so scary about asking when someone else may say no? Rejection. Read on to dial down the fear factor and learn to accept no like a pro.
Self-Care: A La Carte!
Some helps for the care and keeping of you when you're stressed, depressed, riddled with anxiety or fear or going through something wretched and trying to come out the other side.
Finding Elmo: Getting My Kid & Myself Out Of Domestic Violence
I was in an abusive relationship. Here's what finally got me to leave and the story of my journey in getting myself, my child and my heart and head out for good.
Sound Counsel: A Conversation With Lynn Ponton
Considering counseling or think you or a friend might benefit from some therapy? Here's a basic introduction and a shared conversation with adolescent therapist and author Dr. Lynn Ponton to clue you in on what to expect from the couch.
Hello, Sailor! How to Build, Board and Navigate a Healthy Relationship
You probably hear the term "healthy relationship" a lot. But what does that mean, and how do you create -- and keep building -- one of those?
The Pursuit of Hope
It was my personal mission to break the silence, not just for myself but for others who were not yet ready to speak. I wanted to share my story with whoever was willing to listen in hopes of making a difference in someone’s life. Look out world; I am on a mission to end sexual violence!
Why I Deeply Dislike Your Older Boyfriend
He may be older but he's not wiser, and he's not acting like a grownup. He doesn't want to grow up, which is part of why he's dating people he perceives as not grownup themselves. He also doesn't have the bad stuff that happens to you because of him happen to him to make him want to change: if he was in your shoes, he'd ditch him in a heartbeat.