Assault & Other Physical Abuse

My body language announces my distrust of people. This obviously makes it tremendously hard to start new relationships.

Sexual assault and abuse can take so many forms that some people don’t recognize right away or ever. I didn’t initially recognize it. The most simple legal definition of sexual assault is “forcing a victim to participate in sexual acts,” but this definition isn’t always helpful when you’re trying to figure out if you’ve been assaulted. It's so much more complicated and unique than a one-sentence definition.

I know that isn’t news to anyone, but I think we forget that sometimes when trying to help our friends or family members who are going through it. We expect them to act “rationally,” like we would, or like we want them to. But sexual assault is traumatic, and making decisions during and after trauma is complicated. Decisions about who to talk to - the police, a healthcare provider, a friend, a teacher - can feel incredibly complicated. Are they going to believe me? Are they going to listen to me? Are they going to call the police even though I don’t want that? What is going to happen next?

What is reproductive coercion, how can you spot it and what can you do about it if you do?

First off, I'm sorry to hear about your sexual assault. If it helps to hear this, having a strong fear of pregnancy after a sexual assault isn't unusual, especially when someone is feeling shame over it or worrying that they caused or deserved it in some way. Pregnancy can feel like an inevitable...

How do you support a teen as they recover from sexual assault?

This doesn't just go both ways, it goes -- it needs to go -- ALL the ways. For everybody. Always. I really appreciate you asking about this. It's something we remind people about often, both on the site and in our social media, but I feel like we can't talk about this enough or provide enough...

You did nothing wrong. The idea someone "asks for" something they don't want, something that they experience as a violation, is a trope that I wish would go the way of the dodo bird. Understand, I'm not upset with you for saying that; I'm upset with the culture that sends messages that make you...

I'm really glad you want to tell someone, because I think it's really important that you do for her safety. Even if her parents are divorcing, chances are good her father or stepfather will get some sort of unsupervised visitation if there's no record or knowledge of abuse, so her abuse may not...

This question comes up for a lot of people. In the past couple of weeks, I think I've talked to three or four different people about this issue, so I'm really glad you've asked this here, as it's clearly important to you and to many others. It sounds like the journey you've taken to the point of...