Abuse

I would not, and cannot, give you advice on how to feel differently than you do, or on how to hide your feelings. Instead, I would only – and could only, in good conscience – advise you NOT continue to be intimate with this person again and ideally not to stay in a relationship with this person at…

Annie’s question continued: What I would like to do is approach administration about implementing a sexual assault awareness session for all students at the beginning of the year and I am anticipating resistance. So, my question is, what is the best way to go about doing this? I would also like to…

I’m not going to be able to tell you exactly what happened here, because I wasn’t in your head or his, I don’t know what the dynamics of this relationship are or have been like outside of this context and I don’t know your sexual history, including with this person. This is one of those posts I wish…

I’m so glad you were able to ask about this and break your silence. I know how scary it can be to do that. It’s a very big deal to take that step and I hope you give yourself a lot of credit for taking it. I certainly do. What you have described is beyond sexual harassment: it’s sexual assault. And…

It’s absolutely normal to feel unsafe with someone who has demonstrated that you are not safe with them. After all, if I told you I didn’t feel safe having someone over for dinner who mugged me last week, you’d hardly be surprised. It’s also absolutely normal not to feel sexual with someone who hasn…

I’m so sorry you had to experience a rape. But I’m glad you survived it and very glad you feel able to ask for help and support. The vagina can’t really be “broken.” A person with a vagina can sustain injuries to their genitals – via rape, consensual sex, intentional genital mutilation, childbirth…

It’s understandable that you’re feeling pretty overwhelmed and confused about this new information you’ve received about your boyfriend’s history and experiences. Learning of multiple sexual assaults in someone’s history is no small thing and can certainly change your outlook on your relationship…

When we have any kind of trauma, we don’t tend to heal by blocking it out. Of course, we generally cannot simply “block out” memories by sheer force of will in the first place. But it’s certainly common to wish we could. By all means, you had extremely poor care at the hospital – I hate even…

It was my personal mission to break the silence, not just for myself but for others who were not yet ready to speak. I wanted to share my story with whoever was willing to listen in hopes of making a difference in someone’s life. Look out world; I am on a mission to end sexual violence!

For folks who have experienced any kind of sexual violation–including medical experiences that have felt violating–it makes some sense that you might have anxiety or fear about pursuing further care. I don’t know that I have The Answer for you when it comes to how to best manage this, but I do…