Abuse

When my assault happened, I was stunted in my sexual exploration, and I had no choice but to start anew. I’ve learned it will always be an ongoing battle for me, but a possible feat. Scarleteen readers confronting a comparable situation should know there’s hope for you too. Reclaiming our right to pleasure combats apathy by demonstrating our capacity to enjoy again. While we can’t reverse rape, recovery begins when we remember we have alternatives.

I know that isn’t news to anyone, but I think we forget that sometimes when trying to help our friends or family members who are going through it. We expect them to act “rationally,” like we would, or like we want them to. But sexual assault is traumatic, and making decisions during and after trauma is complicated. Decisions about who to talk to - the police, a healthcare provider, a friend, a teacher - can feel incredibly complicated. Are they going to believe me? Are they going to listen to me? Are they going to call the police even though I don’t want that? What is going to happen next?

What is sexual harassment likely to look like in your life, or the lives of your friends? And what can you actually do about it, whether you’re the target of it, trying to avoid harming people yourself, or you’re the friend of someone who’s being harassed at work?

Some forms of abuse, like physical abuse or some kinds of sexual assault, are more easily identified by victims or witnesses. Conversely, gaslighting is a type of non-event, a toxic presence that chips away at a person’s wellbeing over time. Gaslighting is a powerful abuse tactic, although a lesser known one. It is notoriously difficult to understand and recognize, especially for a victim.

Reclaiming your sexuality after sexual abuse can be complicated. Your previous partner has left you with a whole mess of shame and trauma. None of this is your fault, he is the one who chose to hurt and manipulate you, I’m sorry that you had to go through that and are now facing the work of picking…

Ready to take #MeToo to the next level?

We’re some of consent’s biggest fans around here, so we’re thrilled to have gotten a chance to interview Kitty Stryker about the new anthology she spearheaded, Ask: Building Consent Culture.

Hi Jaden, It sounds like you care about this person, and that you’re worried about her. You’re also in a difficult position, because it sounds like both you and she are minors, and the person she’s afraid of is an adult who’s supposed to be caring for her. That may mean that if she reaches out for…

What is reproductive coercion, how can you spot it and what can you do about it if you do?

You do know how to say “no” to sex. The issue is that you’re afraid to say it, and that’s a big red flag. I don’t know how your boyfriend reacted the one time you said no, but it was clearly intense enough that you’ve done the calculus and decided it’s better to have sex you don’t want than face…