Abuse

In this first of a four-article series, you can learn about the specifically physical patterns that pelvic health physical therapist and health writer Caitlyn and others observe in survivors of sexual trauma, and what the research shows about some of sexual trauma’s long-term effects.

Grace is a survivor who has something to ask of you: she’s asking you not to spend time with people who have abused me or any other survivor you know. And she’s also telling you quite a lot about why.

Intellectually, I understand that success and safety do not invalidate struggle. I understand that I will feel the impacts of sexual violence regardless of how well I do in school or how much better life gets for me. But because a majority of people in my life only see the “successful” parts and not the difficult parts, and because so often people’s expectations of survivors stand counter to this, many people find it harder to believe that I’ve even experienced sexual violence. And that can make it harder for me and other survivors to emotionally feel and believe what we intellectually understand: our success does not invalidate our struggle.

Sexual assault and abuse can take so many forms that some people don’t recognize right away or ever. I didn’t initially recognize it. The most simple legal definition of sexual assault is “forcing a victim to participate in sexual acts,” but this definition isn’t always helpful when you’re trying to figure out if you’ve been assaulted. It’s so much more complicated and unique than a one-sentence definition.

“Folks, the main thing I hope to realize is that you are a very powerful social creator, no part of human culture exists without humans creating it and you literally have the power to do that. Of course, you don’t have all the power, but listen: power is not just out there in some kind of blob form, power is inside of everyone of us. We don’t have all the power but we have our power and we can decide how to use it.”

As long as rape culture exists, it may be impossible to create perfect survivor-focused policies. However, unlike with Title IX, Canada should create federal policies that prioritize on making sure campus is a safer place for survivors, rather than questioning their experiences.

Hey there, lost. I’m so sorry that you had to experience that abuse, but I’m very glad you survived it, and have started to be able to look towards healthy, wanted intimacy in your future. Let’s see if I can help get you started. First, I want to alleviate a fear that could get in your way. You don…

I wish I could find out who is spreading the idea that thinking about sex often, masturbating fruequently, or using sexual media indicates someone is on a path towards “sex addiction.” You’re far from the first person to ask about it in our direct services. I’d like to have some harsh words with…

What can sexual grooming look like in online spaces, and how can you protect yourself and your friends from it?

The term itself is insufficient and sounds oddly trivial. The word ‘stealth’ has various associations in the Oxford English Dictionary (2020), including ‘secretly and without right or permission’, ‘clandestinely’, ‘furtive’. A stealth action happens quickly and slyly, like the swiping of an appetising sweet by a small child before their parent sees. But stealthing does not just happen surreptitiously, swiftly, or without the total awareness of the victim.