Abuse

BeckisBack’s question continued: I’ve never been sexual with any of my boyfriends. I merely look for acceptance and affection in a relationship, and do the same for them in return. Another thing I will not do is exploit my body, and even though I trust him very much, I don’t want to send a picture…

You did nothing wrong. The idea someone “asks for” something they don’t want, something that they experience as a violation, is a trope that I wish would go the way of the dodo bird. Understand, I’m not upset with you for saying that; I’m upset with the culture that sends messages that make you…

I’m really glad you want to tell someone, because I think it’s really important that you do for her safety. Even if her parents are divorcing, chances are good her father or stepfather will get some sort of unsupervised visitation if there’s no record or knowledge of abuse, so her abuse may not…

This question comes up for a lot of people. In the past couple of weeks, I think I’ve talked to three or four different people about this issue, so I’m really glad you’ve asked this here, as it’s clearly important to you and to many others. It sounds like the journey you’ve taken to the point of…

I wish that I knew more about your relationship and your boyfriend than just this particular conflict. It’d also help to know what a word like “slutty” even means to him. After all, slut is one of those words that’s a lot like the word god: what it means to one person can be radically different than…

Sauce’s question continued: He would stop me by telling me how much he loved me and how I should give a chance. I met him at university and he led me to a dark place and forcibly kissed me. I say forcibly because I was in shock, unresponsive and had backed up to the wall. It was my first kiss, a…

Lube can do some great things, it’s true. But you know what it can’t do? It can’t turn a lousy partner into a good one. It also can’t take pain away that’s being caused by a partner being a jerk. I’m so very sorry to hear about how your boyfriend treated you. But this isn’t about your body being a…

antogone68’s question continued: I think this was probably for a number of reasons: being busy at university and perhaps having a naturally low sex drive after the honeymoon period of a relationship. However, I also think my sexual assault had something to do with it. I still find physical intimacy…

I’m so sorry that you’ve found yourself in what sounds like some big time bad-news dynamics. There are some things where not being in agreement isn’t a big deal, or is problematic, but not massive. However, having conflict about sex and reproduction like this, especially if one person refuses to…

There are a few things you mentioned here that I suspect you wanted to have addressed in depth, but I think it’s really important that for right now, I do what I can to help you with what seems the most critical. I think it’s crucial you get some help as quickly as you can, and I don’t want my words…