What it most likely is is just normal vaginal discharge. We have a good piece which outlines what is or is not normal here – Honorably Discharged: A Guide to Vaginal Secretions – but I’m happy to put it into more context for you here. Basically, throughout most or all of your fertility cycle –…
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- Heather Corinna
When we wipe after toileting, it’s pretty unusual for us to even directly touch our vulva, let alone stick our fingers into our vaginas and touch our cervixes. And really? Truly? About the only way you could become pregnant from sperm on your hands was if you had a lot of it, perfectly fresh, and…
- Heather Corinna
Our sexual fantasies really don’t limit our actual, out-of-our-heads sexual experiences. Sexual fantasy and sexual reality are separate. Fantasy is influenced by reality, and reality can be influenced by fantasy if we choose, but they still are two very different things. For many people, much of…
- Heather Corinna
It sounds like you’re not confused at all to me: in fact, I hear you being really clear. You know he wants one thing, and you want something else. You know you don’t want to do something he wants to do. In short, you know that the two of you want different things and that as it stands, there’s no…
- Heather Corinna
Hey Anon: I’m sorry about the loss of your Mom. Often Dads really can do just as good a job in terms of talking about these things, so if he’s open to it, you might want to consider talking to him. But obviously, what’s important is that you have someone to talk to you feel comfortable talking to…
- Heather Corinna
Shaun: if not reaching orgasm with a partner during intercourse meant a person was still a virgin, there would be an AWFUL lot of cis women in their forties who have been having sex for two decades but were still virgins. Virginity isn’t some medical state or condition, or something you can get some…
- Heather Corinna
Having a woman, or any person with a vulva, on top during vaginal intercourse is no more or less pleasurable for all people with penises than the missionary position is for all girls. Or than it is for some guys. Or some girls. Or than any other position is for any given person of any given gender…
- Heather Corinna
Maybelline, I don’t mean to sound like your Mom, but I have to say that based on your last post and this one, I’m not so sure engaging in receptive anal sex is the right thing for you to be doing right now. I suggested that to you for a few reasons before, and I’m going to suggest it again now…
- Heather Corinna
Hey there, Naptha. You’re right: while masturbation teaches us plenty about our own sexual responses, likes and dislikes, it IS very different from partnered sex. To boot, seems you’re finding out one of the lessons a lot of folks often aren’t prepared for with any new partner, and that’s that with…
- Heather Corinna
Our general body size earnestly has very, very little – and most often nothing at all – to do with the “tightness” or “looseness” of our vaginal openings and vaginas. Genital size, whether we’re talking about penises or vaginas, most typically does not correspond to overall body size. I’m not…
- Heather Corinna
The exact same way he can tell about you: by asking him. Then you take one another at your word. If you don’t feel you can, that’s another issue entirely. I’m not sure why he needs to have asked you any more than once, unless the two of you aren’t dating exclusively, and are seeing other people. If…
- Heather Corinna
Sara: so long as you took the test properly, at this stage of the game, there’s earnestly no reason to be concerned you’re pregnant. With emergency contraception, it’s normal to have both or either some menstrual cycle kookiness for a little while, and/or some unexplained vaginal bleeding. That…
- Heather Corinna
Jako: let’s work backwards with your questions. For starters, her itchiness may have been irritation from either the condom OR the spermicide. Spermicides are essentially dish soap, and genital tissue is delicate, so you can imagine that for a lot of people, it doesn’t feel so good. Since irritation…
- Heather Corinna
It strikes me as a bit odd to consider upping the ante to vaginal intercourse when as things are now, you’re not feeling sexually satisfied, and when you also express strong reservations about it. I’d suggest that before you step it up to add a sexual activity which carries greater risks – of…
Heather Corinna was one of the first to carve out space for creative, compassionate, and informed sexuality on the Internet. An abridged version of this interview appears on the blog of the Center for New Words, as part of the weekly literary feminist interview series. The following is the expanded…
The principles guiding the work and development of The Audre Lorde Project as a progressive organiztion seeking social justice are as follows: Recognizing the full diversity of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Two-Spirit, and Transgender (LGBTST) people of color, and our collective histories of struggle…
- Susie Tang
Queef is a slang term for a farting sound that comes out of the vagina. It happens when air that gets trapped up in the vagina gets squeezed out. Queefs are often associated with sex because inserting an object into the vagina canal can push air up into the vagina. Because the vagina is closed in…
- David
Hey Kayo, Nothing to be embarrassed about I promise! Here are some answers: 1) When it comes to changing positions, most of the time nobody knows what position comes next. If you change position during sex (and lots and lots of people never do) you usually do it because one or the other partner…
- Heather Corinna
Your partner has no way of knowing for sure that you’ve had an orgasm if you’re a person with a vagina. None, save you telling them so. Sometimes, if your partners have their hands, mouths or genitals inside ours or right on them, they can feel some uterine and vaginal muscle contractions when we…
- David
Hey Anon, Ejaculation: I remember when I first started masturbating, right around your age. For the longest time I only ejaculated a drop or two and, like you, it really oozed out more than squirting. Now it turns out that both of us, you and me, started ejaculating just like pretty much every other…
PFLAG created this fantastic booklet for the families of gays, lesbians and bisexuals which can help a lot to answer questions and address issues that a lot of straight parents and other family members often have. If you don’t have an in-person ally in your corner to help you come out to family, and…
- Heather Corinna
Unprotected intercourse, with or without ejaculation, poses high risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). The pregnancy risk is substantially smaller than had there been full ejaculation, but it still may be a risk. Not knowing when this happened, if it has been less than 120…
- Heather Corinna
When this press release from the American Life League passed by my desk this evening, I couldn’t even wave my usual fist, sigh my usual sigh, or give a good barbaric yawp. Screeds like this often leave me in that space, bizarrely feeling like I’ve been somehow redeposited in time to the McCarthy Era, but this one was a real doozy: I feel like someone dosed my dinner.
- Heather Corinna
Hey, Jessie. You know, it’s normal for anyone, of any gender, and with any level (or lack) of sexual experience to feel attraction or a desire to have sex, and then to change your mind, or feel uncomfortable about pursuing sex, at any time, for any number of reasons. For instance, it may well be…
- Heather Corinna
“In 2005, 47 percent of high school students (6.7 million) reported having had sexual intercourse, down from 54 percent in 1991. The rate of those who reported having had sex has remained the same since 2003. Of those who had sex during a three-month period in 2005, 63 percent – about 9 million – used condoms. That’s up from 46 percent in 1991.