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For men or women, sex is over when one or both partners don’t want to have it anymore, either because they both feel satisfied with the sex they had, or just because one partner or both, even if the sex didn’t result in orgasm, or feel like they wanted it to, just feels done with the whole works and…

You can – and should, in my book – talk about this with him in advance if you have this concern. Neither men nor women lack the ability to be sure, when having any kind of sex with a partner, that we are paying just as much attention to them and what they want as we are to ourselves and what we…

Condoms are designed and tested – each and every one of them, by every manufacturer – to be able to withstand ejaculation (what you’re calling “erupting”) as well as to contain a single ejaculation: the amount of semen a person with a penis emits when they ejaculate. They test them by blowing…

Here’s a quick roundup for you. Oral sex is sexual activity between partners in which someone’s genitals – penis, testicles, vulva (vagina, clitoris, labia) or anus – are being stimulated by someone else’s mouth, lips or tongue. Names for some common oral sex activities are cunnilingus – giving a…

Menstrual suppression is becoming increasingly popular, and has been widely promoted for women. For some, especially women with reproductive health issues which are helped by suppressing periods, it’s an obvious boon, and some using it electively also report it to be a blessing. But what about the health risks? What about the attitudes informing that choice which cheerlead suppression by maligning menstruation? What about the benefits, emotional and physical, our periods can offer us? An opinionated, no-holds-barred look at the whole works and a paean to the period, no matter what a woman chooses to do with it.

Hi there, Depending how long this has been going on for, I think you both need to give yourselves a break. You may have other stressors going on in your life, and now your sex life isn’t working out the way it used to … This is a lot of pressure. And, unfortuneatly, the more you focus on how great…

Hi there, I am so sorry you had such a negative experience for your first PAP test. I promise you, it is not always like this, and it certainly doesn’t HAVE to be like this. First off, your doctor TELLING YOU that you have to have a PAP test is wrong. A nurse practitioner (NP) cannot tell you what…

Hi Kayla, While you can be sure that YOU have been faithful, there is no absolute way you can know that your partner has been faithful. Has your partner been tested for gonorrhea or chlamydia in the past? If not, there is no way for you to know that he didn’t have it when you started dating. If your…

(Minny’s question continued) Still, I seem to be the odd one out and I find it distressing. I broached the subject with him recently, merely suggesting that I hadn’t actively enjoyed the way we’d had sex (not even that I disliked it) and he’d got very worried and hurt and said that I should have…

Delilah: what you’re describing is most likely a completely normal physiological response to being sexually aroused. Part of female sexual arousal, much like erection for men, is swelling of the genital tissues due to blood pooling in the pelvis: the clitoris (both externally as well as internally)…

It’s not likely for a person to be pregnant and still menstruate – especially past very early pregnancy – though some people will experience some vaginal bleeding (which is not the same as menstruation, or a period) during pregnancy. Part of the problem is that many people term any vaginal…

The only person who needs to be convinced they are gay, bisexual, lesbian, heterosexual or any other kind of orientation is that person. We don’t need to convince others of what our orientation is or prove our orientation to anyone. That girl you know doesn’t need to convince you she’s gay, nor…

There’s no reason why I, or anyone else, should try to talk you into doing a sexual activity you don’t have any interest in doing. Coercing someone into doing something sexual they don’t want to is an abuse, and in many cases, also falls under definitions of rape, and for good reason. What motivates…

On July 1, 2008, I became even more of a proud Canadian. This past Canada Day, Dr. Henry Morgentaler became one of several new inductees into the Order of Canada (our highest honour). I think it was long overdue.

(Jasmine’s question continued)I have no idea what to do. I mean it is just a little money…we’ve already had sex and now we understand that he want to be together for ever. He even told his parents about me, which was hard because they are as strict as hell. But I don’t want to give him anything…

Today I received my third and final shot of Gardasil, the HPV vaccine. A few weeks shy of my 23rd birthday, I am part of the first generation of women to receive this vaccine. I have to be honest: as far as shots go, it’s pretty vile. It hurt more than my tattoos did (of course, to be fair, the tattoos took much, much longer). However, (probably) being protected from four strains of HPV- the four that cause the majority of cervical cancer and genital warts- is worth it.

How about something like this: “Hey, I know we should have talked about this before, but since we’ve been having sex without condoms, I need us to talk about safer sex now. I don’t want either of us to be taking risks when we don’t have to, or when we should reduce them, so can we talk about this a…

As a product of the withdrawal method myself, you can imagine why I’m not too excited about it. But even if I wasn’t, what I know is that it’s one of the least effective methods in typical use (only 73% effective), and that even with perfect use (96% effective), it’s still less effective than most…

Abba: this isn’t an odd question at all, and we do counsel users with rape and sexual abuse quite often. I’m also a survivor of rape and sexual abuse myself. Rape is a violent crime, and it is normal for any of us to experience trauma from a violent crime being committed to, on or inside of us. It’s…

No method of contraception is 100% effective, even with perfect use. Please understand that when any two fertile, opposite-sex partners are having genital sex where genitals meet genitals, pregnancy is always a possibility. Birth control methods and practices reduce the risk of pregnancy – more or…

As reported at Time Magazine this week, most of the United States has started to wise up about the ineffectiveness and bias of abstinence-only (which differs from abstinence-plus or comprehensive sex education, both of which contain accurate and in-depth information on sex and sexual health, but which usually also make clear that forestalling sex or certain kinds of sex is often most safe) sex education pushed by the Bush administration, and which is funded by billions of taxpayer dollars to date, and $50 mil

This is actually a question that we see very often around here, and it’s understandable that you’d be worried about this if you don’t want your mother right now to know that you’re sexually active. Doctors actually have an ethical responsibility in keeping what’s called doctor-patient…

The problem here isn’t your body, nor that fact that most women are just not going to orgasm from intercourse alone. The problem is, as you stated, the fact that your partner seems only interested in an activity which results in his own orgasm and his pleasure. That’s the big problem. That’s what…

First things first: really, partnered sex doesn’t make anyone more mature or grown-up, and it’s not necessarily a stepping-stone to greater maturity or “real” adulthood. Driving a car to school instead of a bike doesn’t make someone more mature: it could just mean one person is wealthier than…

Some folks have the idea – usually before they have any or some kinds of sex with a partner, or when the only kinds of sex they’ve had have been when one or both partners either feel uncertain, not ready or just aren’t all that excited and aroused – that you can divide any kind of sex with…