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Let’s take a few minutes and break everything down into separate thoughts. First and foremost, you need to consider readiness. How do you feel about sex becoming a part of your relationship right now and especially for you personally about starting to have sex? Do you feel that at this point in your…

A lot of times we think about abuse, whether it’s physical or emotional, as something that goes on behind closed doors, and it’s hard to change that frame of mind when, in reality, nobody sees the vast majority of abuse that occurs. Like many of the ST Staff, I’ve seen my share of abuse as the victim, not the witness. So it seems somewhat surprising that I was so shocked to see it, in full daylight, on a busy downtown street this past weekend.

Frankly, if I had a partner – at any age – who, from the onset, was trying to talk his way out of cooperating with managing risks, risks that I would bear the greatest burden of, I wouldn’t just insist on a condom. I would insist on not being sexual with that person at all. I – and you – deserve…

The short and easy answer: not everyone will feel so compelled as to moan during sex, so there’s nothing wrong with you. A lack of moaning does not mean that you’re not enjoying yourself, just as the presence of moaning does not mean that you are enjoying yourself. So now that we’ve knocked out the…

Masturbation is natural and in no way unhealthy for people of any gender if and when it is what someone wants for themselves. It’s also not something that’s just okay or healthy for guys, or more healthy or okay for men than for women. It’s something that the majority of most people do and report…

If you want to have any kind of sex with another woman, even together, than it’s not honest to say you don’t want another woman. You obviously do, in this way. As well, another partner is a person: not a sex toy, not an object, not some new “thing.” So, for everyone’s sake – particularly for that…

Love is Respect is the national resource to disrupt and prevent unhealthy relationships and intimate partner violence by empowering young people through inclusive and equitable education, support, and resources. Love is Respect offers 24/7 information, support, and advocacy to young people between…

Cigarettes are bad for you, but they’re still sold all over the place. I was at the store just the other day and saw a frozen breakfast meal that contained 115% of your sodium intake for the day! There’s no way that can be good for you, but it’s still on the shelves. In fact, for many years in the…

Consent is an active process and agreement, and it cannot be coerced. The absence of no does not mean yes. No matter how well you think that you know your partner, you should never assume that you know her thoughts in that instant about sex and what she may want or not want to do. She should also…

Please understand that anal sex is sex. It is no more or less sex than vaginal intercourse is, just like oral sex is sex and manual sex (fingering or handjobs) are sex: that’s why all those terms end with the word “sex.” So, if you do not want to have sex until marriage, then don’t have sex until…

Unfortunately, some women don’t know or understand when they’re carrying around double-standards when it comes to being ready for sex. You’re not the first guy to ask this question or be in this situation. Just like it is for women, guys are not somehow automatically ready for sex any time their…

When it comes to sex and particularly to the issue of orgasm, expectation can be your worst enemy. As soon as you are worrying about whether you are normal or stressing about a specific event happening or not happening then you’re creating anxiety for yourself, which is a huge barrier to actually…

and Zooey also asks, I had casual sex with a friend of mine and the aftermath here is getting a bit out of hand. We talked about having sex before we actually did so; however, I just broke up with my boyfriend and I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in any emotional relationships. Last week my…

Recognizing that you have negative beliefs about sex and sexuality is a huge step in clarifying what you think to be true and the value system you want to follow. That is a major task of growing up, and not just related to sexuality. As we move through youth, adolescence, and young adulthood we are…

Leahcar’s question continued, This must sound so strange but I’m finally being honest with myself and need to get it out there for someone else to know about before I burst. I won’t tell anyone I know about these feelings, but they just frustrate me all the time. It makes me so depressed because I…

Given when you had your abortion, you’re right: you would not have been anything even remotely close to fully dilated. Your provider would have dilated your cervix to some degree, but only as much as is needed for aspiration, which is nothing close to what is needed for childbirth. At 10 weeks, a…

(Andi’s question continued) I’ve googled the internet for explanations. I guess I’m trying to prove to him and myself that this is just a phase he’s going through. I really want to believe he is actually not gay, just curious about different sexual orientations. Can I be right, because he never had…

Let me start by just filling you in on some realities of rape. Most rapes do not occur with strangers unknown to the people they rape. They occur with people known to a victim: a friend, a neighbor, a spouse, a boyfriend or girlfriend, a family member. Stranger rape only accounts for around 25% of…

Anonymous’ question continued At the moment, I didn’t think much about how it will affect us. I just let him and he did it for a very long time. It was almost about a full half-hour when I came. He swallowed and everything. And then it hits me that my BEST FRIEND just gave me a blowjob. He went to…

As always with a question such as this, I find myself wishing that I could throw out the cliché phrase “You just know.” The problem with cliché’s of course being that they don’t often really answer anything. So let’s take a minute to break things down together. Readiness is a very loaded term, and…

I am writing to urge you to stop efforts to block women’s access to basic reproductive health services. I understand that the proposed regulations that the Department of Health and Human Services released on August 21, 2008 expand existing law to allow more health care providers and institutions to refuse to provide needed care. Since this proposal has come to light, I have looked for any evidence that it is in response to a mass of healthcare workers voicing complaint and finding they are incapable of doing the very jobs they have agreed to do. I have found no such thing.

I used to play with Barbies a lot when I was little. No wonder I wanted to be blonde. I smiled at my reflection. Not because of my morena skin. Not because of my brown eyes, or even because I was looking at the face of a child with a life of opportunity ahead. It was because at that time of day, if I used a bit of imagination, the light from Costa Rica’s morning sun made my dark, curly hair glow a golden yellow. I would go into daydreams of myself: blonde with bright blue eyes and a perfectly pink smile, driving off in a matching magenta convertible with the most popular boy in the class.

If your boyfriend has Chlamydia, you can get it yourself via either oral sex or vaginal intercourse. Using condoms for both those activities, however, greatly reduces your risks of contracting Chlamydia and other sexually transmitted infections. So, if your partner has it, and you don’t use a condom…

(Anonymous’ question continued) I feel like there is something so strange about a person like me who is so reserved- celibate of all sexual activity, and yet, I don’t really have erotic dreams, and it doesn’t SEEM like I’m repressing anything. I will say that I am EXTREMELY creative and passionate…

One of the nation’s top violence prevention organizations today launched an unprecedented new initiative to raise awareness about a kind of abuse that is rarely discussed, but has severe consequences. The Family Violence Prevention Fund’s (FVPF’s) kNOw More initiative examines the reproductive health consequences of sexual coercion and violence, which include unintended pregnancy, HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections, miscarriage, infertility, coerced abortion, and a range of other serious health issues. kNOw More is designed to start a dialogue about the birth control sabotage and reproductive coercion that many teens and young women face, and help draw the link to the reproductive health problems it causes.