Sex & Sexuality

(Minny’s question continued) Still, I seem to be the odd one out and I find it distressing. I broached the subject with him recently, merely suggesting that I hadn’t actively enjoyed the way we’d had sex (not even that I disliked it) and he’d got very worried and hurt and said that I should have…

The problem here isn’t your body, nor that fact that most women are just not going to orgasm from intercourse alone. The problem is, as you stated, the fact that your partner seems only interested in an activity which results in his own orgasm and his pleasure. That’s the big problem. That’s what…

First things first: really, partnered sex doesn’t make anyone more mature or grown-up, and it’s not necessarily a stepping-stone to greater maturity or “real” adulthood. Driving a car to school instead of a bike doesn’t make someone more mature: it could just mean one person is wealthier than…

Some folks have the idea – usually before they have any or some kinds of sex with a partner, or when the only kinds of sex they’ve had have been when one or both partners either feel uncertain, not ready or just aren’t all that excited and aroused – that you can divide any kind of sex with…

While the experience was probably different and new to you, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a weird experience. Female ejaculation (which is also called squirting, since not every person with a vulva is female) is actually a normal sexual response, though it’s not as common a response. So…

I’m going to break your question down some so we can be sure to touch on everything here. First, let’s talk a bit about readiness. Readiness for any type of sex happens for people at different ages, different points in the relationship, and even in some relationships and not others. One person may…

No. No kind of sex can change the shape or size of your body (sparing something temporary and small, like erections or clitoral swelling because of being aroused). If you become pregnant due to any given kind of sex you can have shape or size changes, but that’s about it. To find out about what…

Orgasms will tend to last anywhere from a few seconds to less than a minute for most people, most of the time. Orgasms for people with vaginas often tend to last a bit longer than orgasms for people with penises – but for people of all genders, we’re still talking within an average of a few seconds…

Obviously, this is more of a personal judgment call than anything else. But personal ethics and the integrity of a relationship (as well as your own integrity) aside, you are likely to have some practical problems with not being truthful about faking and then expecting the sex to improve. I have to…

You gotta know it’s a bit silly to ask a question and tell us what we’re going to say. It’s not like we don’t understand wanting to orgasm. So, adjust your ears and your expectations, okay? My own script is likely different than what you’d write for me. I’m hearing a few different things here which…