Sex & Disability

Sex with disability -- whether it's you or a partner who's disabled or neurodiverse -- doesn't usually have to mean sex that's harder or more challenging, it usually just means we have to bring out or grow our listening, self-advocacy, and adaptation skills, things that always make sex better, disabled or not.

Advice
  • Kelli Dunham RN BSN

Thanks for your question and for sharing so much with us. You ended your question with "What am I doing wrong?" I wanted to start by inviting you to consider all the many, many things you are doing to make your life better: being open with the people in your life about your identity, going to...

Article
  • Eva Sweeney

What if a partner is nonverbal due to disability? Here are some tips on how to seek and obtain consent and how to generally communicate during sex with a nonverbal partner, so sex can be safe, satisfying and fun for everyone involved.

Article
  • Eva Sweeney

Cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, and spinal cord injuries, among other disabilities, can involve spasticity. People often have day-to-day coping mechanisms to help manage their spasticity, but what do you do when you have spasticity and want to have sex?

Article
  • Carrie Kaufman

Disabled people get a lot of practice telling people about our bodies: doctors, therapists, care workers, or people in our support networks like family and friends. It's so important to be able to tell our partners how to support and pleasure us in the ways that work for us, but even though we’ve got all that practice, this conversation can still be really hard to start. Here's some help.

Article
  • Madison Parrotta

Depending on your disability, everything involving sex may require help – and if your parent is your primary caregiver, bringing up these topics (let alone asking for assistance with them) is not an easy task. It is possible to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship and sex life as a disabled person with a parent caregiver (or any other kind of caregiver). Here's a guide to help you out in this department.

Article
  • Andrew Gurza

When your disabled body decides to literally crap out on you, how do you bring sexy back?

Article
  • s.e. smith

Disabled people are often nervous when they set out into the world of partnered sex. Because it's such a taboo subject, they may not know where to start, since they've rarely heard people affirming the right to sexual autonomy for disabled people, or providing information about how to have safe, fun, loving, saucy, steamy, great sex while disabled.

Article
  • s.e. smith

We all know that consent can be sexy — and also that navigating sexual consent can be tricky. Sometimes, disability makes it more complicated, so it's important to take some time out to talk about that as you explore the world of dating and sexuality through the disability lens.

Article
  • s.e. smith

If you want to explore various aspects of kink — or whatever you want to call it — there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, and it can be fun and one way to build rich, fulfilling relationships.

Article
  • s.e. smith

Before getting sexy with other people, it may help to get to know your own body — although it's not required— and a lot of the disabled youth I talk to haven't had the opportunity! They're not sure which sensations they like, how their bodies feel when they're excited, what they definitely don't like, and how to handle the physical mechanics of pleasure. Nondisabled people sometimes assume masturbation is a snap, but for some of us, it can be more challenging. That doesn't mean it's impossible.