Human connection through romantic and sexual relationships is an important part of many people’s lives and we talk about that a lot at Scarleteen. But you gotta have friendships as well: Our friends are our communities, support networks, and adventure partners too! Society often devalues friendship and considers it less important than romantic and sexual connections. That shows up in all kinds of ways, especially in the way people tell people to deprioritize their friends and talk about those who aren’t interested in romantic or sexual relationships at all.
There’s no such thing as “just friends,” though, and thinking about the relationship you want to build with a new friend or enrich with an old friend is an important part of being human. All relationships deserve care, intentionality, communication, and mutuality. Using these mental muscles (and sometimes physical, like when you’re helping someone move) will serve you well in every part of your life.
Talking about relationships of all kinds, including friendships, and honoring those, has been a part of Scarleteen from the start, because we know they’re essential for health and wellbeing. In this collection, we compile some of our favorite reads about building and maintaining friendships of all kinds…and what to do when things are going sour.
Collection Items
Whether your friends are your boyfriend, your dog, your best friend from almost the minute you were born, your third cousin, your booty call, your Dad, your guitar teacher, your downstairs neighbor, your brother, your girlfriend, your iguana, your teammates, your band, your Mom, your gaming group, your sister, your cat, your uncle, your cool new friend from work, your lover, your secret crush, your guardian, your gerbil, your stepmom, the kid you mentor, your choir director, your sponsor, your lab partner, your co-author, that cool person you always talk to the whole way home on the bus, your training buddy, the lunch lady, your locker next-door neighbor, or anyone else, this one’s for them. And for you, friend.
For as long as I can remember, I have worked on cultivating strong and meaningful friendships. It’s through these friendships that I have discovered what I hope to get out of romantic relationships. My friendships teach me the importance of trust, communication, and commitment.
Relationships, like gender and sexuality, don’t fit into a binary. The phrase queer platonic, which comes from the asexual community, means a deep and meaningful intimate relationship which isn’t based on sex. You can have this with anyone – no matter their gender or sexuality. Perhaps if the term were more normalised (I hadn’t heard of it before researching this article), more people would be comfortable with such a relationship.
A short, fast, sex ed summary about the bare basics of healthy relationships.
A house isn’t built in a day. Neither is a relationship.
There’s lots of advice out there on handling the end of a romantic relationship. What about a friendship?
Turning a dating relationship into a friendship isn’t a downgrade: It’s the start of an exciting new chapter together.
Just like with any kind of relationship, there’s no way that a FWB setup looks for everyone who chooses one. The short answer is that being friends with benefits is whatever the people involved agree that it should be, so you’ll have to ask your potential partner some questions and share your own…
and Zooey also asks, I had casual sex with a friend of mine and the aftermath here is getting a bit out of hand. We talked about having sex before we actually did so; however, I just broke up with my boyfriend and I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in any emotional relationships. Last week my…
This is a great question. I can really sympathize with how all of these elements can make socializing more difficult and how frustrating that can be, especially at a time when you may feel like you want extra support from the people in your life. I don’t think there’s one clear solution here, but I…
A starter guide to managing and resolving interpersonal conflict.
Have you been forgoing time with friends to hang out with your significant other, or vice versa? Either way, read on for help in dealing with this sticky predicament.