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Judging from the number of users I see experiencing pregnancy scares on the Scarleteen message boards, particularly from situations besides genital intercourse, you’d think sperm cells were some magical weapon of mass fertilization, powerfully wiggling their way through clothes/towels/fabric, and leaping off hands to impregnate every person around them within a 50 mile radius. Look out for scary sperm! Get outta the way! They’re coming right for you! (pun intended) As a volunteer for Scarleteen, I’m here to tell you none of this is physically possible. It just isn’t. As a former laboratory technician at a fertility clinic, having worked directly with sperm and semen (and without having ever gotten pregnant doing so, no less!), I want to tell you why.

BeckisBack’s question continued: I’ve never been sexual with any of my boyfriends. I merely look for acceptance and affection in a relationship, and do the same for them in return. Another thing I will not do is exploit my body, and even though I trust him very much, I don’t want to send a picture…

What does desire feel like, and how does feeling desire – or not feeling it – have an impact on sex or masturbation? Is it okay to feel strong desire, low levels of desire, or even no desire? We aim to answer your most pressing questions on sexual or erotic desire.

What positions are there for sex? How do you do them? Which is the best one? And why does everyone seem to think positioning is so complicated when it’s really not?

The health center at my university is pretty awesome. It provides free STI testing days throughout the year. Instead of making an appointment, students and non-students alike can just walk in, check in, and wait their turn, as it’s run on a first-come, first-served basis. This particular event was for rapid HIV testing, where HIV results are given within just 10-15 minutes. I visit my gynecologist annually, but I’ve never gone specifically to get tested for STIs/HIV. I attended this event curious about what the entire process was like.

frenchiemathwhiz’s question continued: I was standing by him because I’ve freaked out about stuff before, and I thought he was there for me. But apparently not. Anyway, we were each other’s first sexual partners—vaginal, oral, etc. I’m moving to a new city and a new job in a few weeks (something I…

I am sorry to hear about your stressful sex conundrum. Being in school can be a very stressful and sleep-deprived time, and I am sure that many people can relate to your situation, including myself. Stress is just one of those feelings that has a much larger impact than many people acknowledge: in…

Eleven years have gone by since I first came to Scarleteen as a very frightened, very lost sixteen year-old who had nowhere else to go and was ready to give up altogether. I don’t remember now what I wrote or what I asked for. But I will never forget seeing a response from Heather which read “I believe you, and I care.”

We sometimes deal with a tough situation in direct service: a user comes in, and reports having contracted an STI; a user who also isn’t a first-time user of our site or services, and who, in a previous conversation with us about pregnancy risks, blew off also talking about STIs and safer sex and turned down help we offered to them to reduce their STI risks, not just pregnancy risks. This is one of those things where there’s no joy or pride in being right: it stinks to be right about someone getting any kind of illness and being unhappy.

SHine SA provides: -prevention, promotion and education programs that build the capacity of communities in greatest need -professional education programs that build the capacity of workers across all sectors -clinical services targeting communities with health inequalities and poor sexual health…

Hi Emma, Reading this, I get a strong sense that you expect to be judged for your age and your sexual choices. I have no intension of judging you, and I’ll get back to why in a bit. First, though, I want to answer your questions. It’s okay that your boyfriend doesn’t want oral sex. I know you want…

Since the first time I had it inserted, the technology of the implant has changed a little bit, for the better. When it was developed, Implanon was a thin plastic rod that couldn’t be seen on x-rays - so if there was a question about whether it had been placed in the right spot, there wasn’t really a way to tell. The insertion device was also pretty intimidating-looking. Nexplanon, the newer version, has fixed both of those issues.

Hey there, Dan. I’d never assume someone is dumb (including when someone is a young, a guy, or without a house, car or a job), nor do I think that having strong feelings for someone means a person is dumb. It sounds like you’ve had a pretty watershed emotional experience with this person, and…

When one person walks up to another person on the street and just starts punching them in the face, we don’t call it boxing. We don’t call it “unwanted boxing.” We call it assault.

This is definitely not a silly question. In fact, many people with vaginas experience the feeling of having to pee from stimulation inside the vagina by fingers, sex toys or a penis. Understanding your body and anatomy can help to explain why you feel like you have to urinate during sex, and also…

Does sex feel like it’s “just happening,” rather than something you’re actively doing? Here’s how to change that.

Here’s something that happened to me last month: I got asked my preferred gender pronoun. For those who aren’t familiar, this is a thing that tends to happen a lot at queer-positive conferences and gatherings these days. When you go around the room at the beginning of a session, you’ll say your name…

It occurs to me that the “we both forgot to use condoms” thing that comes up often enough is a bit like suggesting that a person forgot to wear pants. For a whole day. And didn’t notice. At all.

It sounds like you have two different concerns in your question: that it is not normal for you to not be experiencing pleasure (or much sensation at all) while receiving oral sex, and that you also don’t want your boyfriend to feel bad about that. Let’s talk about the first part of your question…

No. It is not possible for a gynecologist to tell if someone has been sexually active, either with themselves or with a partner through an examination. The only exception might be if you were examined shortly after masturbating; the doctor might notice redness or irritation of the vulvar tissues…

elinor’s question continued: I know many people experience different romantic vs sexual attraction, and from talking to him, I feel like he is a little more sexually attracted to men, and a more romantically attracted to women. We also have a very friendly/open sort of relationship (we started off…

Meet our good friend, Lube. It can’t create world peace, but it can make some kinds of sex more comfortable, masturbation or other sex you already enjoy even better, help prevent condoms from breaking and more.

What I’m hearing a lot of in this question is you wondering if you’re okay. So, I wanted to start out by saying: Yes, you are okay, just the way you are. I realize this may not be a comfort, but in spite of how it might seem, there are plenty of 19-year-old folks (plenty of folks of any age, for…

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. But, boy howdy, does it sound like plenty was wrong with this situation. You did not WANT to engage in sex with this person. You were also clear that you didn’t feel ready to have sex with this person once it was obvious to you that you felt that way…

I don’t celebrate most holidays, but I’ve always been a fan of New Year’s. New Year’s Day, actually, more than New Year’s Eve. I relish fresh starts and new beginnings. I even like New Year’s resolutions. I know, they’re cliche, and that much of the time, when we make them, we don’t stick with them…