I think you are reading this situation absolutely right. That thing he’s doing, when you reach out to talk and he requests pictures and then threatens to break up if you won’t? That is a truly manipulative and toxic dynamic. It’s also a major red flag in terms of a relationship being abusive…
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- Sam Wall
If you’re caring for a young person, then the question of when and how to have “the talk” with them has likely crossed your mind.
- Sam Wall
There are so many things that make me glad in your question. Glad that L has at least one person that he feels safe sharing that part of himself with. Glad you reacted positively and confirmed his trust in you. But oh how I am not glad that he’s still in a situation where he doesn’t feel comfortable…
- Sam Wall
Identity can be such an obnoxious creature sometimes. Just when you think you’ve got it all sorted out, some new evidence pops up and you have to rethink things. And I don’t need to tell you how frustrating that shift can be, because you’re in the middle of it. It can be doubly trying if you’ve…
- Sam Wall
Dr. Karen Rayne has spent a decade supporting parents and young adults with well-researched, thoughtful discussion of sex and sexuality.
- Sam Wall
Ah yes, the unexpected period gambit. Also known as the “I am not wearing white shorts until I hit menopause” phenomenon. I know it well, as do most people who menstruate. The image of the spreading, red stain on your pants (inevitably in front of the people who pick on you and/or the person you’re…
- Sam Wall
The tradition of “men pursue, women wait” is still culturally prevalent, and a lot of families (yours included) teach their children that men should be the ones doing the asking when it comes to romance. This notion is problematic for a number of reasons. It reinforces not-so-great ideas about how…
- Heather Corinna
If by sex, you mean intercourse, you probably can’t. Even if you could, you or your partner probably wouldn’t enjoy it: the idea intercourse is something people do – or even can do, or would enjoy if they could – for an hour or two just doesn’t square with reality. A lot of people have unrealistic…
- Sam Wall
Oof, this is a tough spot, and I’m sorry you’ve found yourself in it. I want to start by saying that your instincts, and what you’ve been hearing, are spot on. When you sense that someone you care about is being isolated by a partner, especially a partner with a history of harassment and assault, it…
- Sam Wall
What can you do to stay connected without becoming the main component of your teen’s social life, and how do you support teens going through breakups?
- Sam Wall
As you have probably guessed from the title, I have some thoughts about what the source of the issue is, and boy howdy is it not you. Let’s look at an abridged version of events from an outside perspective, because when you’re in a relationship, with all the feelings that involves, it can be hard to…
- Sam Wall
First off, I want to say that it takes an incredible amount of strength to have gone through (and continue to go through) what you have and survive. You’ve managed to grown and thrive in spite of other people doing awful things to you. That’s not nothing. And that strength is going to come in handy…
- Heather Corinna
The safer sex drawer normalizes safer sex, and ensures young people in your life have access to supplies they need.
- Sam Wall
Parents and adults are often quick to dismiss teen media, even when they haven’t personally read or viewed it. That offhand dismissal undermines young people.
- Sam Wall
First off, let’s get one thing very clear: having sex or masturbating does not cause any changes to your body. (We have written about this before, and will likely have to keep reiterating it until I retire/the internet explodes/the sun goes out and all life on earth is destroyed.) There is no test…
- Heather Corinna
Gender stereotyping is not just everybody’s problem, it’s a problem for everybody, and that includes for men.
- Heather Corinna
- Sam Wall
Some of our favorite resources for parents to help them do their best with sex, gender, consent and sexuality in their parenting.
- Heather Corinna
- Sam Wall
If you take nothing else away from Scarleteen Confidential, we feel these five things are the real guiding principles when it comes to parenting well.
- Heather Corinna
Young people sometimes feel uncomfortable talking with parents and guardians about contraception.
- Heather Corinna
- Sam Wall
In this series we pass on our insight including what we observe and learn from working with young people to parents, guardians and other supportive adults.
- Sam Wall
Our societies are chock-full of norms and ideals of beauty that shape how we feel about our bodies, and we all run up against them eventually.
- Sam Wall
Hi Freckle Face, There are a couple of things in your question that I want to address. The first is that you are, correctly, noticing that your friends are applying a double standard when it comes to talking about sex with you. Now, to be clear, people have different levels of comfort around…
- Heather Corinna
Before I say anything else (and I’ve got a lot, so go on and put your feet up: this is big stuff, so you deserve big responses), I want to make a couple things super-clear. One: you get to have whatever kind of mutually consensual sexual life it turns out feels right for you, even if that turned out…