Rebel Well: for those who are LGBTQA+

This piece is part of Rebel Well: a Starter Survival Guide to a Trumped America for Teens and Emerging Adults.

The current social and political climate for those who are LGBTQA+, especially youth, can feel really scary. We know from the previous Trump administration, as well as the Trump campaign and its supporters, that attacks on LGBTQA youth are likely to increase. This includes policies at the local, state, and federal level as well as shifts in public opinion, which often interact in a vicious cycle.

An important thing to know is that you have more friends than foes, even if the news makes it feel otherwise, and real live LGBQTA+ adults⁠ (adults: People whose age in years exceeds the legal age of majority, people considered to be adults by law, or people who a culture or individual considers to have reached an adult stage of life.) are among those friends. It’s also important to know that civil rights fights can be prolonged and sometimes things feel like they are going backward, but as the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King popularized in 1958, “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

Find your safe people, those who will be there for you if you need a place to stay, help accessing medical care, or someone in your corner in a dispute with school administration. Cultivate strong networks and ties now so they’re ready for you when you need them.

For Those Who Are Trans

In recent years, the trans and otherwise gender nonconforming⁠ (gender nonconforming: People who do not adhere to or who protest cultural rules or norms about dress, behaviors or activities for people based on their sex.) community has faced legislative discrimination and outright attacks in many forms, including: So-called “bathroom bills” that restrict access to restrooms on the basis of sex⁠ (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) assigned at birth; bans on participation in sports; restrictions on access to transition⁠ (transition: In the context of gender the process of exploring, expressing and affirming your gender, particularly if and when it doesn’t align with a sex you were assigned at birth. ) care; and laws making it difficult or impossible to update government-issued identification such as drivers’ licenses and birth certificates. In addition, lawmakers and regulatory agencies have initiated rollbacks of or challenges to some existing protections, such as antidiscrimination in health care. These will likely continue.

Journalist Erin Reed maintains detailed information about current legislative attacks and the state of the national landscape for trans rightsexternal link, opens in a new tab if you want to keep up with the latest news and doing so is okay for you. All Southern states and a large portion of the Midwest have passed laws targeting transgender⁠ (transgender: Describes people who find that the gender applied to them because of the sex they were assigned at birth is incorrect.) youth, while some states, such as California, Minnesota, and New York, have gone in the opposite direction, with legislation explicitly protecting trans rights.

Especially if you live in a state where your rights are under attack, and/or your family is not supportive, you are probably facing some difficult choices in the coming months and years. Many trans people in unsupportive states or homes are being told to “just move,” which we know isn’t always an option for a number of reasons, ranging from cost to wanting to stay rooted in a community you love and think of as home. Wherever you are, you deserve to be safe and loved as yourself. 

If you plan to transition⁠ and haven’t yet: If you’re nervous and want to take a pause, it doesn’t have to be permanent, and it doesn’t mean that you’re not “trans enough” or that you lack bravery. Conduct an honest threat assessment about your physical safety, employment prospects, access to education, and relationship⁠ (relationship: An ongoing interaction or association with another person, place or thing.) ⁠ with your family. Sometimes the best option is to wait, even though that’s hard to read and harder still to do.

Even if you are only able to take steps alone or in safe online spaces, such as Scarleteen, you still know who you are, though we know if it’s painful to be referred to by the wrong name and gender⁠ (gender: Characteristics that are seen or presented as distinguishing between male and female in a society. Gender may or may not include assigned or chosen: social roles, feelings, behaviors and/or presentation or appearance.) . If you are in a safer and more supportive setting, you can explore more public social transition; you could change the name and pronouns you use, or dress or style your hair differently, for example. Some trans people may also opt for social transition in some places, such as the privacy of the family home, while operating under their old names and genders in others, such as school. Another option to explore could be transferring schools to start with a clean⁠ (clean: In a sexual context, usually a word used to suggest a person doesn’t currently have anysexually transmitted infections. That term, however, stigmatizes people with illness. Less stigmatizing choices are “negative,” “clear” or “STI-free.”) slate, and not sharing details about your past.

If you are interested in medical transition, you can open up a conversation with care providers about your options and how to move forward, and if you can, seek a clinic that operates on an “informed consent⁠ (consent: To freely and actively agree to do a specific thing with someone else with all the information about what that thing is, and the right to change your mind.) ” model of transition care. Be aware that laws about doctor-patient confidentiality can vary, and your doctor may be allowed to share your medical information with your parents or guardian. Make sure to disclose any medications or supplements you are taking and why, even if they are over the counter, because even “natural” products designed to boost or suppress hormones⁠ (hormones: Chemicals – via our endocrine system – that send messages across our bodies and brains. They both naturally exist and can also be made in a lab.) such as testosterone⁠ (testosterone: A steroid hormone produced in the testes and in the ovaries. Is responsible for sperm production, and influences sexual desire, arousal and bone health. Is also blamed for for a lot of things it isn’t actually responsible for.) or estrogen⁠ (estrogen: A steroid hormone found in the bodies of all people, produced in the ovaries and the adrenal glands.It is involved in puberty, menstruation, pregnancy, mood, bone health, and other things across the body and lifespan .) can be dangerous or may conflict with prescribed medications. You may want to discuss how to document information in your medical chart. It could be possible to remove references to your gender and document merely that you are being treated for a hormone disorder, for example, or a mental health provider could submit a diagnosis code for something vague such as “adjustment disorder.” Remember that you can move as slowly as you need to, and you can stop if the direction of your medical transition doesn’t feel right for you or you are worried about risks.

If you have transitioned or are in the process: Update your documents IMMEDIATELY if you have not already done so, with the help of your parents if you are a minor. The National Center for Trans Equality maintains a detailed toolkit with information on updating identificationexternal link, opens in a new tab. You may need a court-ordered name change and doctor’s note, depending on where you live. Be aware that in some states, it’s not possible to update some documents; in Tennessee, for example, you cannot amend your birth certificate to correct your gender marker. You may want to think about the potential of having documents that do not match, such as a conflicting birth certificate and passport, especially if you have opted for the X gender marker available in some states and on U.S. passports. Mismatches could out⁠ (out: Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.) you or cause problems with background checks.

If possible, stock up on hormones and other supplies for gender-affirming care. Think ahead of time about what you will do if you are unable to access this kind of medical care. Some states are passing⁠ (passing: Being perceived as a member of a non-marginalized group when you’re a member of a marginalized group.) laws targeting youth who travel to other states for care. This is a great time to make friends in other states whom you might want to visit for no particular reason every few months. It’s also good practice to start using encrypted methods of communication and private browsers for research and communications, and to be careful about what you say on social media.

For Those Who Are LGBQA+

Lesbian, gay⁠ (gay: A man who is attracted to other men, or a person of any sex or gender who is sexually and emotionally attracted to people of the same or a similar sex or gender. Often used alongside lesbian.) , bisexual⁠ (bisexual: A term for sexual orientation which either describes a person who can be sexually and emotionally attracted to people of more than one gender.) , queer⁠ (queer: In the context of sexuality, a broad term for sexual orientation that can describe any number of orientations which are not heterosexual. People who identify as queer may be bisexual or pansexual, gay or lesbian, questioning, asexual or more.) , and asexual⁠ (asexual: In the context of human sexuality, someone who either does not experience or has not yet experienced any sexual desires at all, or who has experienced/does experience sexual desires, but not a desire to enact them with other individuals.) youth along with others who identify along other points of the sexuality spectrum may face issues such as rollbacks of civil rights protections in schools or changing regulations on the “conversion therapy⁠ (conversion therapy: An abusive and, in some cases, illegal intervention based on the false belief that queer people can be turned straight or that trans people can be turned cis. It is sometimes referred to as “reparative therapy” or “exploratory therapy.”) ” industry, from bogus therapy to turn you straight to “troubled teen” programs, whether they be wilderness boot camps or locked facilities.

Depending on where you live, your state may actually protect you: For example, conversion therapy⁠ may be popularwith anti-queer and anti-trans bigots and hate groups, but many states explicitly identify it as tortureexternal link, opens in a new tab and have banned or severely restricted it. In Utah, a state notorious for troubled teen programs, lawmakers have pushed for better regulatory oversightexternal link, opens in a new tab, though not a full ban, and California has passed similar legislation. If you are in a hostile state, civil rights organizations such as Lambda Legalexternal link, opens in a new tab are hard at work defending and expanding your civil rights via every possible avenue, including the courts, legislatures, and regulatory agencies.

It’s a good idea to have an exit plan if you live in a family where some form of conversion therapy could be a risk. Much like someone living in other kinds of abuse⁠ (abuse: Purposeful harm or mistreatment of another person, which can be verbal, emotional, physical or sexual. An ongoing pattern or cycle of such mistreatment or harm can characterize an abusive relationship.) ⁠ may do, keep all the most important things for your life in one easy to access bag or within easy reach, including all your identification; if you don’t have a safe place at home, identify one somewhere else where you can store these things. Figure out⁠ — and verify — a safe place or two you could go to and be allowed into without having to make arrangements first, ideally one where people will back you up if your family comes calling.

We’re always here for you in our direct services if you need advice or a friendly face. For loads more on the variety of transition options available to you, and how to get support, check out Scarleteen’s Trans Summer School. You can also explore the resources at the end of this guide for more.