Part of Scarleteen’s Birth Control Bingo. Need to go back a question? Or start over?
You said you absolutely, positively, can take NO risks in becoming pregnant (or in getting a partner (partner: In a sexual context, a person with whom someone is having some kind of sex. The term “partner” can be used for all kinds of relationships, not just serious ones. “Partner” can also mean the person someone is with in a romantic or familial partnership.) pregnant), and/or know that you do not want to become pregnant right now, or possibly ever.
There are many methods of highly effective birth control (birth control: Any number of methods people use to intentionally prevent unwanted pregnancy, including the condom, the cervical barrier, the implant, the patch, the pill, the rhythm method, the ring, the shot, the IUD, spermicide and withdrawal.) , but none of them are 100% effective, even with perfect use (perfect use: When a birth control method is used correctly and reliably, the whole time, every time, in accordance with the manufacturer’s directions. Many birth control methods will state an effectiveness for “perfect use” vs. “typical use.”) : there will always be some risk, from a very slight one to a more moderate risk of pregnancy (pregnancy: The state of carrying a developing embryo or fetus within the uterus. Medically, someone is considered to be pregnant when an egg has been fertilized by sperm, cells divide, and the fertilized egg is implanted within the lining of the uterus.) if you are having genital intercourse (intercourse: When people interlock their genitals and move together as feels good to them for the purpose of sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.) and are using one of those methods.
If you’re someone who does not want to take ANY risk, at all, of a pregnancy, the only way to completely avoid that risk is to either avoid any sexual (sexual: About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.) activity where someone has a penis (penis: One of the two external reproductive organs of people often assigned male at birth.) and the other person has a vulva (vulva: The name for the external genitals of people assigned female at birth. The vulva includes the mons, external clitoris, inner and outer labia, fourchette and perineum.) , or refrain from sexual activities which pose a risk of pregnancy (vaginal intercourse (vaginal intercourse: When a penis or sex toy is inserted into and held by the vagina while partners move their bodies as feels good to them for the purpose of either sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.) , anal intercourse (anal intercourse: When a penis is inserted into and held by the anus while partners move their bodies as feels good to them for the purpose of sexual stimulation.) direct genital-to-genital rubbing, or any genital exposure to semen (semen: Fluid which comes from the urethra of the penis during ejaculation, and which usually contains sperm.) ).
The good news is, there are a LOT of other pleasureable ways of being sexual which do NOT pose any risk of pregnancy whatsoever.
Some sexual activities (often called “outercourse”) which do not pose any risk of pregnancy include:
- kissing (kissing: Pressing one’s lips against someone else’s lips or some other body part to express affection and/or to seek out or provide sexual pleasure. May also include the tongue.) or making out (making out: A vague term, but often a session of extended activity that includes passionate or deep kissing, some kind of other body contact and may even include other kinds of sex, like manual sex (fingering or handjobs).)
- general body stroking (“feeling up”) or massage
- dry sex (dry sex: A kind of sex where people have clothes on, but are pressing their genitals together. This can also be called frottage, grinding or dry humping.) (with one or both partners dressed) or clothed tribbing (tribbing: Another term for tribadism.) or frottage (frottage: Rubbing against the body of another person to express sexual feelings or seek out sexual pleasure. “Dry frottage” is done with clothing on (“Dry humping” is a form of frottage).)
- oral sex (oral sex: Use of the mouth, lips or tongue for sexual stimulation. Cunnilingus (“going down on”), fellatio (“blowjobs”) and analingus (“rimming”) are some common kinds of oral sex.)
- manual sex (manual sex: Sometimes also called digital sex. Kinds of sex involving the hands and fingers to sexually stimulate the genitals or other parts of the body. Fingering, handjobs or “fisting” (deep manual sex) are some kinds of manual sex.)
- mutual masturbation (mutual masturbation: When sexual partners masturbate together. Sometimes people also use “mutual masturbation” to mean manual sex (fingering or handjobs) done at the same time.)
- solo masturbation (masturbation: Ways that people seek out and/or experience sexual pleasure by themselves, without a sexual partner.)
- male-receptive anal intercourse (where the intercourse is in the bottom (bottom: Either a colloquial term for buttocks or even the whole genital area, or someone who wants to consensually relinquish control or active leadership during sex to a partner and follow their lead.) of someone who also has a penis)
- phone sex (phone sex: Sexual encounters or experiences in which people talk about sex or role-play sexually via the telephone, often paired with masturbation.) or cybersex (cybersex: Virtual (as in, not in person) sexual experiences or encounters which involve text conversations and/or visual exchanges via the Internet.)
- role playing and/or sensation play (within or outside the context of BDSM (BDSM: Describes sexual play and/or relationships involving exchanges of power and pain. B = bondage, D = discipline and/or dominance, S = submission and/or sadism, M = masochism.) activities)
- any sexual activity with someone who has the same type of genitals (genitals: Body parts that are generally, culturally, scientifically or personally considered to be external sexual or reproductive organs.) as you.
Just remember that some of the sexual activities listed above can still pose risks of sexually transmitted infections (sexually transmitted infections: STIs: illness, infection and/or disease which is often or can be transmitted through sexual or other intimate contact, like HIV, Chlamydia or Herpes. Some people call STIs STDs.) .
If this is the route you choose to go, you’ll want to do some things to support that and assure it is used effectively. For instance, you’ll want to be sure you can be strongly assertive (assertive: To be self-assured, self-confident. To stand up for oneself in a positive, nonviolent way.) when it comes to setting and insisting on the boundary around sex (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) that poses pregnancy risks with any partner you get involved with. You’ll want to be sure a partner is just as on-board with this approach as you are. You’ll also want to make sure that, in the case you do find yourself changing your mind in the heat of the moment, you’ve got a reliable method of contraception (contraception: Devices, medications or behaviors used to intentionally aim to prevent pregnancy, including the condom, the cervical barrier, the implant, the patch, the pill, the rhythm method, the ring, the shot, the IUD, spermicide and withdrawal.) you can and know how to use, just like someone who chose to have intercourse and to use condoms, but knew they may not consistently use them, should have a backup method if they want to avoid unwanted pregnancy.
For those who wish to be sexually active (sexually active: Someone who has had or is currently having some kind of genital sex with a partner or partners.) , including activities which pose a risk of pregnancy and want NO risk of pregnancy, male or female sterilization (vasectomy (vasectomy: Surgical blocking of the vasa deferentia (each vas deferens) for permanent birth control.) or tubal ligation) are also options. However, as we mentioned on the previous page, these options are surgical and are rarely okayed for younger people by doctors since for most people, those are permanent methods of birth control which either cannot be reversed, or are costly to reverse, and/or are not always successful in reversal. However, if this is something you are interested in, the person to speak to about it is your doctor or your sexual healthcare provider (healthcare provider: A qualified person to provide sound physical and/or mental healthcare, such as a doctor, nurse, clinician, counselor, medical assistant, midwife or other healthcare professional.) .
Bear in mind that consistently combining two reliable methods of birth control – like a hormonal method and condoms, or like condoms and a cervical barrier (cervical barrier: A birth control device which is inserted into the vagina to cover the cervix and prevent sperm from entering. Diaphragms, cervical caps and contraceptive sponges are kinds of cervical barriers.) – does not give you 100% protection against pregnancy, but it’s pretty darn close. If you already have taken a risk you’re not comfortable with, or know or suspect a birth control method has failed and wish to prevent pregnancy, we suggest you consider emergency contraception.
If you’ve changed your mind and know that you still want to and will engage in sexual activities which pose pregnancy risks, and have become willing to take some risk in becoming pregnant, or just want to see what some birth control options are, go back a question and start over.
Don’t forget: Statistically, sexually active young adults (adults: People whose age in years exceeds the legal age of majority, people considered to be adults by law, or people who a culture or individual considers to have reached an adult stage of life.) are as, if not more, likely to acquire a sexually transmitted infection (infection: When harmful microbes, or germs, or harmful levels of microbes/germs, enter the body and multiply, causing illness. The common cold, flu viruses, sexually transmitted infections, chickenpox, impetigo, rabies and diphtheria are some kinds of infections.) (STI (STI: Sexually transmitted infections: illness, infection and/or disease which is often or can be transmitted through sexual or other intimate contact, like HIV, Chlamydia or Herpes. Some people call STIs STDs.) ) as you are to become pregnant. Although 15-24-year-olds represent only one-quarter of the sexually active population, they account for nearly half of all new STIs each year, and of the 18.9 million new cases of STIs each year, 9.1 million (48%) occur among 15-24-year-olds (AGI)external link, opens in a new tab. Often people have some funny ideas about who is most likely to get an STI, but the fact of the matter is that younger people – of any sexual orientation (sexual orientation: A term – like homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, queer, straight, lesbian, gay, asexual – used to describe a person’s usual or current pattern of emotional, romantic and/or sexual attraction to other people as it relates to or is about gender.) , any economic class, any kind of relationship (relationship: An ongoing interaction or association with another person, place or thing.) – have been the highest risk group for some time now.
Condoms are the only method of birth control which also provide protection against STIs. It’s pretty typical for younger people to ditch condoms if they have another method of birth control, so just remember that STIs are still a risk if you’re using another method. You can read all about safer sex (safer sex: Practices which aim to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections, such as use of latex/nonlatex barriers, regular testing for infections and limiting the number of sexual partners.) here – Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To – but the rule of thumb most medical experts and prevention organizations suggest, which we also encourage at Scarleteen is six months of safer sex, six months of sexual monogamy, and then TWO full STI screenings for each partner – once at the start of that six months, once at the end – before ditching latex barriers.
