Sex & Sexuality

What’s sex? What’s sexuality? How do people experience and actively express their sexualities, by themselves, with partners or both? How can we take part in sex in ways that are wanted and consensual, physically and emotionally safe and enjoyable for everyone? How do you figure out what you like? How can you communicate about sex? How do you deal with feelings like fear, shame, anxiety, dysphoria and other body image issues? How do you create the kind of sexual life you want? You’ll find the answers to all these and more here.

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Articles and Advice in this area:

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Orgasms will tend to last anywhere from a few seconds to less than a minute for most people, most of the time. Orgasms for people with vaginas often tend to last a bit longer than orgasms for people with penises – but for people of all genders, we’re still talking within an average of a few seconds…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Obviously, this is more of a personal judgment call than anything else. But personal ethics and the integrity of a relationship (as well as your own integrity) aside, you are likely to have some practical problems with not being truthful about faking and then expecting the sex to improve. I have to…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

You gotta know it’s a bit silly to ask a question and tell us what we’re going to say. It’s not like we don’t understand wanting to orgasm. So, adjust your ears and your expectations, okay? My own script is likely different than what you’d write for me. I’m hearing a few different things here which…

Advice
  • Red

Thanks for writing. I am sorry that your heart is hurting and I hope that I can shed some light onto your situation. Before I do so I just want to let you know that I’ll be using the term trans women rather than “she-male.” The term “she-male” is a slang term used to describe people assigned male at…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Really, truly, the longer we’re in relationships, the more we’re going to go through times when for one partner or the other – sometimes both – libidos are low or sex just isn’t a high priority. That’s okay. To expect our sex lives as time goes on to resemble how they were when we were brand new…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Honestly? The biggest fantasy driving the bus here is that the length of time your erection lasts has much to do with your partner’s pleasure (or yours, to some degree) at all. That isn’t to say that you won’t likely have sex partners – some, plenty, even all of them – who don’t enjoy sex that…

Advice
  • Sarah Riley

From a reproductive standpoint, the purpose of an erection is to allow for insertion of the penis into the vaginal canal and ejaculation. Once the erection has served that purpose, there is no reason for it to continue. Also, typically after ejaculation or orgasm, sexual arousal wans. As that…

Advice
  • Stephanie

What you’re describing here comes down to a word that many people interested in psychology would term “displacement.” The theory of displacement was first brought about by the well known Sigmund Freud to describe the idea that when a person is upset, they shift their impulses from an unacceptable…

Advice
  • Sarah Riley

This is actually a good thing! In general, the vagina is supposed to be a pretty wet environment. Even when a person with a vagina is not sexually aroused, they’ll have cervical mucus and other vaginal discharge. It may be helpful to think about it as being somewhat similar to the inside of your…

Advice
  • Stephanie

I remember a few years back when a close friend and I decided that we were going to try bungee jumping. I was petrified the entire time that I was being strapped into the gear and in the end decided that I simply couldn’t do it. As I stepped down from the ledge with my friend my body was shaking and…