Sex & Sexuality

What’s sex? What’s sexuality? How do people experience and actively express their sexualities, by themselves, with partners or both? How can we take part in sex in ways that are wanted and consensual, physically and emotionally safe and enjoyable for everyone? How do you figure out what you like? How can you communicate about sex? How do you deal with feelings like fear, shame, anxiety, dysphoria and other body image issues? How do you create the kind of sexual life you want? You’ll find the answers to all these and more here.

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Articles and Advice in this area:

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Masturbation is natural and in no way unhealthy for people of any gender if and when it is what someone wants for themselves. It’s also not something that’s just okay or healthy for guys, or more healthy or okay for men than for women. It’s something that the majority of most people do and report…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

If you want to have any kind of sex with another woman, even together, than it’s not honest to say you don’t want another woman. You obviously do, in this way. As well, another partner is a person: not a sex toy, not an object, not some new “thing.” So, for everyone’s sake – particularly for that…

Advice
  • CJ Turett

Consent is an active process and agreement, and it cannot be coerced. The absence of no does not mean yes. No matter how well you think that you know your partner, you should never assume that you know her thoughts in that instant about sex and what she may want or not want to do. She should also…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Please understand that anal sex is sex. It is no more or less sex than vaginal intercourse is, just like oral sex is sex and manual sex (fingering or handjobs) are sex: that’s why all those terms end with the word “sex.” So, if you do not want to have sex until marriage, then don’t have sex until…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Unfortunately, some women don’t know or understand when they’re carrying around double-standards when it comes to being ready for sex. You’re not the first guy to ask this question or be in this situation. Just like it is for women, guys are not somehow automatically ready for sex any time their…

Advice
  • CJ Turett

When it comes to sex and particularly to the issue of orgasm, expectation can be your worst enemy. As soon as you are worrying about whether you are normal or stressing about a specific event happening or not happening then you’re creating anxiety for yourself, which is a huge barrier to actually…

Advice
  • Stephanie

As always with a question such as this, I find myself wishing that I could throw out the cliché phrase “You just know.” The problem with cliché’s of course being that they don’t often really answer anything. So let’s take a minute to break things down together. Readiness is a very loaded term, and…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

(Anonymous’ question continued) I feel like there is something so strange about a person like me who is so reserved- celibate of all sexual activity, and yet, I don’t really have erotic dreams, and it doesn’t SEEM like I’m repressing anything. I will say that I am EXTREMELY creative and passionate…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

If your boyfriend hasn’t initiated anything sexually, and he gets upset when you talk about it, then it’s pretty clear your boyfriend isn’t feeling ready for any kind of sex yet and you need to respect that. You can certainly talk to him about this – making clear that you have no interest in…

Advice
  • James Elliott

He gets close every time you try. I interpret that as you are using various techniques that he really enjoys, but then maybe you opt for a different technique or vary its pace. These changes can quickly take a guy from the verge of reaching an orgasm to simply enjoying the sensation. Of all the…