Sex & Sexuality

What’s sex? What’s sexuality? How do people experience and actively express their sexualities, by themselves, with partners or both? How can we take part in sex in ways that are wanted and consensual, physically and emotionally safe and enjoyable for everyone? How do you figure out what you like? How can you communicate about sex? How do you deal with feelings like fear, shame, anxiety, dysphoria and other body image issues? How do you create the kind of sexual life you want? You’ll find the answers to all these and more here.

a very excited kitten's face

Articles and Advice in this area:

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

My guess would be that rather than missing “extras,” you’re missing basics. If any genital contact feels blah to you, or just like someone was patting you on the back, my first suggestion would be to make sure that when any kind of sex happens – even masturbation – you’re really feeling aroused…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Just so you know, while certainly, it’s more common to begin some sexual activity before your age (which you had), there still are plenty of people who have not had sexual intercourse at your age. And given that the age of first marriage has been increasing, in terms of folks waiting for all sex or…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Madison: I’d suggest you start by taking a look at our sex readiness checklist which I’ve linked at the bottom of my response to you here. It’s a really excellent tool for getting a good overview of all the aspects of sexual readiness. Now, a lot of people who are ready may still not check off ALL

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Anon, it’s never wrong to not want to do any given sexual activity. Everyone has their own wants, needs and preferences, and you get to have yours just like anyone else. While it can take a little adjusting for sexual partners to find middle ground in terms of what both want and prefer, a partner…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

There’s no “cherry” that needs popping in your vagina. Seriously. And virginity is a cultural idea or concept: it’s not a physical state of anything. In other words, the bodies of “virgins” and the bodies of “non-virgins” are often impossible to tell the difference between. Sometimes that term…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

You know, it’s not often going to feel good to anyone to have someone just stick a finger into the vagina. There really aren’t “tight girls” and girls who aren’t tight. The tightness of your vaginal opening and vagina is mostly to do with how sexually aroused and relaxed you are, and if what someone…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Not an easy question, but I’ll do my best. I’m going to assume we’re not talking about infibulated women, but in the case you are, just write back and we’ll tackle that, too. One thing to understand is that one unfortunate aspect of defining virginity by the state of the hymen is that it just isn’t…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Jay: the thing about alcohol and sex is that, for some people, a little does tend to make relaxing a bit easier, but at a certain point (amount of drink), which varies for people based on their own individual chemistries and tolerance, it actually inhibits arousal, erection, and sexual performance…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

None of this has anything to do with how much you masturbate. Nor is this likely about something that’s wrong with your penis. I am, however, seeing a few issues here that are either misinformed or not as they should be which are the likely culprits. For starters, understand that the vagina really…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Absolutely! Understand that orgasm isn’t really a genital event: rather, it’s a whole body event, one that takes place primarily in your nervous system and cardiovascular system, but which we feel effects of in our genitals as well, and which genital sex often causes. So, your heart rate goes up…