Sex & Sexuality

What’s sex? What’s sexuality? How do people experience and actively express their sexualities, by themselves, with partners or both? How can we take part in sex in ways that are wanted and consensual, physically and emotionally safe and enjoyable for everyone? How do you figure out what you like? How can you communicate about sex? How do you deal with feelings like fear, shame, anxiety, dysphoria and other body image issues? How do you create the kind of sexual life you want? You’ll find the answers to all these and more here.

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Articles and Advice in this area:

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay. Remember that orgasm is primarily an event that occurs in, and is about, the nervous system. Yes, most people have most of their orgasms due to stimulation that is about or includes genital stimulus. But not all people, and again, for most, it’s not JUST

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Not only can you not stop your vagina and vulva from lubricating, that is what HAPPENS to people with vaginas when we become sexually aroused. It’s supposed to, ideally, because if we’re not lubricated, vulval and vaginal sex – as well as some kinds of clitoral stimulation – doesn’t feel very good…

Article

(Part of How You Guys - That’s Right, You GUYS – Can Prevent Rape, and continued from Who are rapists, and where did rape even come from?) Sometimes, someone being raped will clearly say no and will NOT clearly say yes. They might say no verbally, with words, they might say no by crying, they might…

Advice
  • Susie Tang

Susie explains what a rim job (analingus) actually is and what to be aware of when considering it.

Advice
  • Sarah Riley

I’m glad you’ve found things on the website that have been useful for you! Being educated about your body and about safer sex practices goes a long way toward making sex both safer and more enjoyable when we are ready for it and do want to be engaged in it. Keep in mind here that there is no one…

Advice
  • Sarah Riley

Let’s toss out the idea of being “tight” because you haven’t done anything with anybody else. Sex of any sort (manual sex, intercourse, or whatever else) doesn’t permanently change the dimensions of one’s vagina. So thinking that people who haven’t engaged in vaginal or manual sex are tighter than…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

You know, I always feel for heterosexual or bisexual folks when they clearly have paid attention to this stuff, done the reading or just talked to women, put it all together and have that “Whoah!” moment about this issue. With so many people reared to think that male-female vaginal intercourse is…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

You know, it actually isn’t “cute” to not understand your own body. It’s pretty tragic, and for the person who doesn’t understand, it doesn’t tend to feel cute. It can even feel pretty scary, especially if and when you’re doing things – or someone else is – with that anatomy you can’t or don’t…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

If you feel like – and you seem to be very clearly saying you do – that YOU need to hold off on sex with someone new, for YOU, that’s really all you need to know. You’re the only person waiting needs to be okay with. If it’s not okay with anyone else, too bad for them. Some not-as-yet boyfriend…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Withdrawal is NOT an effective birth control method: just ask my parents, and their parents, and…you get the picture. I also have a fantastic nephew who I adore, both of whose parents swear (and have no reason to lie, really) that they practiced withdrawal PERFECTLY. Apparently not. That’s the…