Sex & Sexuality

What’s sex? What’s sexuality? How do people experience and actively express their sexualities, by themselves, with partners or both? How can we take part in sex in ways that are wanted and consensual, physically and emotionally safe and enjoyable for everyone? How do you figure out what you like? How can you communicate about sex? How do you deal with feelings like fear, shame, anxiety, dysphoria and other body image issues? How do you create the kind of sexual life you want? You’ll find the answers to all these and more here.

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Articles and Advice in this area:

Advice
  • Sarah Riley

The term “prude” is such a heavily loaded, judgmental term that I’d really encourage you not to apply it to yourself or anybody else. The implications that come along with that are just not very helpful, so I’d suggest removing that from the way you’re thinking about your situation. There are lots…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

There is no one sexual activity, nor any one way to engage in any one sexual activity, which will guarantee orgasm or ejaculation for any given person, or for any given person every time. Plenty of people with penises will reach orgasm and ejaculate with oral sex, though many of those people won’t…

Advice
  • Susie Tang

It’s the position that you and your partner find immensely pleasurable at that moment in place and time. The answer to your question is going to change based on where you are, how you’re feeling, and who you’re with. So you and your partner get to figure out what’s working and what’s not. If…

Advice
  • Susie Tang

As loving and wonderful as your girlfriend may be, she needs to understand that you have boundaries, too. Negotiating sex can be a major hurdle for many couples, and there are a lot of people in your position – you are trying to live your life by a certain batch of morals, and they’re in conflict…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Jules: what you’re asking is obviously something I’m not going to be able to sum up in one page. Partnered sex and all of sexuality is a huge topic! But what I can do is set you up with some primers to get you started, and give you some context so that it all makes more sense. How you have sex with…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

The first thing I’d ask you is if you – and your boyfriend – feel too young to possibly be someone’s parent. I ask that, because one huge risk with unprotected sex is pregnancy. Statistically, in less than one year, 80-90% of people (and remember, too, teens are often far more fertile than us…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

For the record, there isn’t anything abnormal about oral sex: it’s a very common practice. People (and other animals) have been engaging in oral sex for a mighty long time. As well, the risks of infections from oral sex are actually substantially less in most cases than from vaginal intercourse, and…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

I hear people talking about foreplay and pretend like I know what it is, but I have never really understood. Heather Corinna answers this question about foreplay.

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

It’s not bad at ALL to have laughter be part of your sex life: it’s ideal. Laughter is an expression of joy, after all, and ideally, sex should be an expression of joy, too. Nervous laughter is also okay: sex with a partner can make us feel anxious, nervous, or highly excited and it’s normal for…

Advice
  • Heather Corinna

Fantastic question! It’s so important for people to remember that usually when we’re looking to engage in activities of any kind where there are some risks of negative or unwanted outcomes, it’s usually because we also want to take risks of discovering or getting some positive or wanted outcomes. If…