Sex & Sexuality

Thanks for writing. I am sorry that your heart is hurting and I hope that I can shed some light onto your situation. Before I do so I just want to let you know that I’ll be using the term trans women rather than “she-male.” The term “she-male” is a slang term used to describe people assigned male at…

Really, truly, the longer we’re in relationships, the more we’re going to go through times when for one partner or the other – sometimes both – libidos are low or sex just isn’t a high priority. That’s okay. To expect our sex lives as time goes on to resemble how they were when we were brand new…

Honestly? The biggest fantasy driving the bus here is that the length of time your erection lasts has much to do with your partner’s pleasure (or yours, to some degree) at all. That isn’t to say that you won’t likely have sex partners – some, plenty, even all of them – who don’t enjoy sex that…

From a reproductive standpoint, the purpose of an erection is to allow for insertion of the penis into the vaginal canal and ejaculation. Once the erection has served that purpose, there is no reason for it to continue. Also, typically after ejaculation or orgasm, sexual arousal wans. As that…

What you’re describing here comes down to a word that many people interested in psychology would term “displacement.” The theory of displacement was first brought about by the well known Sigmund Freud to describe the idea that when a person is upset, they shift their impulses from an unacceptable…

This is actually a good thing! In general, the vagina is supposed to be a pretty wet environment. Even when a person with a vagina is not sexually aroused, they’ll have cervical mucus and other vaginal discharge. It may be helpful to think about it as being somewhat similar to the inside of your…

I remember a few years back when a close friend and I decided that we were going to try bungee jumping. I was petrified the entire time that I was being strapped into the gear and in the end decided that I simply couldn’t do it. As I stepped down from the ledge with my friend my body was shaking and…

It’s important to remember that partnered sex isn’t just about your preferences and wants, it’s also about the preferences and wants of your partner. Partnered sex isn’t a solo: it’s a duet, and what you’re going for is harmony. You’re going to find those wants and preferences out by experimenting…

The best person to ask that question of is…. (drumroll please) … your girlfriend! She’s the one who knows the answer to this question. When you’re doing something sexual with someone, and they’re not reacting in any way or don’t seem to be fully along for the ride, the first thing to do is to…

How familiar are you with the changes to your vulva or the rest of your body when you get sexually aroused? I ask this, because I’m willing to bet that there have been times, for you, when you’re with a partner you’re attracted to, and who you want to be with, but find that your clitoris is not as…