Sex & Sexuality

Do I think you should just suck it up, take these photos and share them? No. First and foremost because, depending on the content and level of nudity, doing so could be as consequentially serious as a felony on both of your parts. So it’s clear right from the start and in a way you can’t miss it: I…

I can’t make these choices for you, and I think it’s really important you make and own your own choices in relationships and in sex once you start choosing to have them be part of your life. What I can do for you is to try and give you some extra information and perspective, based on what you’ve…

What a person wants and enjoys in media – including pornography – may or may not have any relationship to what they want and enjoy in real life. That’s often particularly the case with fantasy media, which pornography usually very much is. A big part of viewing, reading, or otherwise engaging in…

Before I say anything else, I’m going to say what I often do to people about threesomes (or moresomes), particularly threesomes-in-the-abstract or other kinds of sexual scenarios with an established couple and one or more other partners who they don’t know yet or haven’t even considered. Especially…

A few years back I was at a sex and disability conference in San Francisco. Tom Shakespeare, an author, disabled activist, and disability scholar, was giving the opening talk and he began by saying that as disabled people the real problem is usually not how to have sex, but who to have sex with. Eli…

Hedo’s question continued: While I was working with her and experimenting with what she liked I got a lot of positive feedback and encouragement. It was very clear that she was enjoying what I was doing, which felt amazing for me, too. But after we finished and cleaned up she got withdrawn and…

I probably can’t help you keep erections or ejaculation from happening when you don’t want them to, since that’s just something largely, and often entirely, outside someone’s control. Hopefully what I can do is help you to worry about it less and accept the way your body is right now more. We hear…

Before I say anything else, I want to make sure that you understand that it’s okay for you to simply not feel like having sex, and to decide to not have it for the time being. You say you don’t like sex, and that’s absolutely valid: We don’t have to like it, at any given time or ever. Now, if you DO…

How about considering this in a different way? If and when you do have intercourse, some of what I’m about to say will probably be a big duh; be things you’ll find out for yourself. If you have already had other kinds of sex, you may know much of this already, but just not realize that as things…

It’s up to you to decide if this was sex and if this had anything to do with virginity. What I can do to help you with that is give you some definitions, backgrounds and perspective on those terms, some advice on making sexual choices in alignment with what you really want and feel ready for and…