How to Play with Toys: Strokers

Strokers may not have the same notoriety vibrators do, but these simple toys can bring some serious pleasure for some folks. Beginner-friendly and intuitive, strokers can help people of all genders reimagine masturbation⁠ (masturbation: Ways that people seek out and/or experience sexual pleasure by themselves, without a sexual partner.) or manual sex⁠ (manual sex: Sometimes also called digital sex. Kinds of sex involving the hands and fingers to sexually stimulate the genitals or other parts of the body. Fingering, handjobs or “fisting” (deep manual sex) are some kinds of manual sex.) with a partner⁠ (partner: In a sexual context, a person with whom someone is having some kind of sex. The term “partner” can be used for all kinds of relationships, not just serious ones. “Partner” can also mean the person someone is with in a romantic or familial partnership.) , adding textures, sensations, and sometimes vibrations that the human hand can’t replicate. And while they’re sometimes called masturbation sleeves, these versatile toys aren’t just for solo play: strokers can also be enjoyed with partners in ways that feel playful, connective, and oh-so-good. More ahead. 

Why strokers? 

What does it do? Strokers are pleasure aids designed to surround a body part with texture, pressure, vibration, or other sensations that can feel really, really good.

The material and shape of these toys can vary. Some resemble toilet paper tubes, which then slide over a body part and envelop it in squeezing, hugging pressure. Others look like potholders or oven mitts that you can curve around your body with the help of a hand. There are also strokers that resemble eggs or hot dog buns.  

What body part or parts is it for use with? Strokers are made to slide over or surround the genitals⁠ (genitals: Body parts that are generally, culturally, scientifically or personally considered to be external sexual or reproductive organs.) . Tube-shaped strokers—sometimes sold under names like ‘pocket pussy’ or ‘male masturbators’—are generally designed for body parts that extend from the body, such as penises or clitorises with bottom⁠ (bottom: Either a colloquial term for buttocks or even the whole genital area, or someone who wants to consensually relinquish control or active leadership during sex to a partner and follow their lead.) growth from exogenous testosterone⁠ (testosterone: A steroid hormone produced in the testes and in the ovaries. Is responsible for sperm production, and influences sexual desire, arousal and bone health. Is also blamed for for a lot of things it isn’t actually responsible for.) .

Flat or open strokers (think: pads, mitts, or flexible silicone sheets) can be used on penises, too, as well as vulvas, clitorises, or any area where you or a partner like external stimulation. Some folks also use them on nipples or other sensitive zones. 

What’s it feel like? Strokers introduce sensations to your genitals that the human hand often cannot! Some have a jelly-like consistency that can feel soft, snug, or slippery against the body. Others are lined with ridges, nubs, and spirals that can feel grippy or teasing. 

Quick facts

What materials is it made of? Most strokers are made from body-safe silicone or thermoplastic elastomers (TPE)—materials that are soft, stretchy, and designed to mimic the feel of skin. Some strokers have a hard-shell exterior made of ABS plastic, which helps the toy keep its shape and makes it easier to grip. 

Is it loud? Motorized (i.e., vibrating) strokers may emit a hum, buzz, or pulsing sound, which can range in volume depending on the product. Non-vibrating strokers are mostly quiet, though you might hear some squeegee, sloshy, or squishy sounds if you’re using lube (which you should be!). Those noises are normal, and while you’ll hear them, no one on the other side of your door will.

Is it beginner-friendly? Yes! Strokers are among the most beginner-friendly toys available, because they work with various body parts, can be integrated into solo or partnered play.

Do I need anything besides the toy to use it? Lubricant is essential. A squirt of store-bought lube supplies extra slip-and-slide that allows the toy to move over your genitals, as opposed to sticking to them, which makes everything feel better. 

Strokers made from silicone should be used with a water or oil-based lubricant⁠ (lubricant: A fluid used in order to make kinds of sex (such as masturbation, vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse or manual sex) more pleasant and comfortable, and/or to help prevent condoms from breaking by decreasing friction.) , while those made from TPE can also be used with a silicone-based product. 

Is it safe? 

Yes, strokers are safe so long as they are made from body-safe materials, cleaned regularly, and used with lubricant. 

Buying a toy made from non-porous silicone, TPE, or ABS plastic ensures it won’t contain harmful chemicals or other toxins that can irritate your skin. Regularly cleaning your toy helps prevent the buildup of bacteria or leftover lube, which can alter the genital microbiome and increase the risk of infections (like yeast infections). 

It’s also important to listen to your body and pause or change things up if the sensation becomes irritating, too intense, or painful. These sensations might mean that you need more lube, a different angle, or that the toy isn’t for you. (That’s okay—there is no such thing as a sex⁠ (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) toy absolutely everyone likes!). 

If you notice temporary numbness following use, don’t fret—that’s just a normal response to prolonged vibration, and it will fade once you discontinue use. You cannot ruin, desensitize, or dull your genital nerve endings by using a stroker. 

How can you keep it clean⁠ (clean: In a sexual context, usually a word used to suggest a person doesn’t currently have anysexually transmitted infections. That term, however, stigmatizes people with illness. Less stigmatizing choices are “negative,” “clear” or “STI-free.”) ? Due to the tremendous variety of strokers on the market, cleaning protocols may vary. Your best bet is to read the cleaning instructions that come with the specific toy. 

Most silicone and ABS plastic strokers can be cleaned with warm water, mild unscented soap, and a washcloth. Some TPE toys are slightly more delicate and may require cleaning with a gentle, alcohol-free toy cleaner instead of soap. If your stroker has a motor, check to see if it is fully waterproof before submerging it. Otherwise, stick to wiping the exterior with a cloth. 

After washing, let the toy air dry and then store it in a place that will protect it from dust and debris, such as a satin bag or drawer. 

How to use it? 

The way you utilize it will vary based on the design of the toy and your pleasure preferences. Going from zero to stroker might feel surprising and overwhelming for your body, so you may find it best to first grow your arousal⁠ (arousal: A state of sexual excitement and interest that sends messages to the brain which create physical changes and sensations, such as increased blood pressure, erection, lubrication, loosening of the vaginal or anal muscles, and increased physical sensitivity.) through non-genital touch, fantasy, literotica, or another spicy means. 

If you’re planning to use the stroker on your genitals, once you’re ready, apply some lube to both your body and the inside surface(s) of the stroker. Next, you can introduce the stoker to your body by sliding yourself inside the toy, wrapping it around your genitals, pressing it against external hot-spots, or rubbing it back-and-forth. From there, you can experiment with different sensations by adjusting your pressure and grip, using various twisting, pulsing, and stroking techniques, and angles to find what feels most comfortable. If the toy is motorized, you can also explore the different settings. 

Can I use it alone? Absolutely. The fact that stokers are sometimes called masturbation sleeves nods to their prowess in the solo sex department. Strokers can introduce sensations into your solo sex life that the human hand (and other sex toys) cannot, helping you expand your understanding of what kinds of touch feel most pleasurable, affirming, and exciting. Motorized strokers that surround your genitals with vibration can be an especially great masturbation tool for people with limited hand or finger mobility, since they require less grip strength or repetitive motion.

Can you use it with a partner? If so, how? Yes. If you discover during solo play that strokers are a fun, reliable way to experience pleasure, it makes total sense that you’d want to bring that joy into partnered sex, too.

Meanwhile, if you have a sexual partner⁠ (sexual partner: Someone besides yourself you have intentionally, actively and physically explored your sexual feelings with in some way, like via sexual activity such as intercourse, oral sex or manual sex.) who helps you feel curious, playful, and safe exploring new things, a stroker can be an exciting tool to share. Some people enjoy holding or controlling the toy for their partner, while others like watching or being watched—either while also pleasuring themselves or not. You can also use it on each other, take turns, or incorporate it into foreplay⁠ (foreplay: What some people call sexual activities that are not genital intercourse which they may do before intercourse or as a “warmup” to intercourse, such as kissing, manual sex or oral sex.) or aftercare.

If you plan to share the same stroker, it’s safest for each person to don a fresh condom⁠ (condom: A thin sheath or tube of latex or another material, worn over the penis during sex to prevent or reduce the risk of pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections.) over their body or the toy before each use. Because most strokers are designed to insert body parts into—or involve other forms of close genital contact—sharing one can transfer body fluids, and the bacteria or infections that come with them. Utilizing a new barrier each time, or thoroughly washing  and drying it between uses allows you to share in on the fun, while still keeping one another safe(r). 

Remember, using toys together doesn’t have to mean both people’s genitals are involved at once, just like all kinds of sex together don’t involve two sets of genitals (or any, for that matter!). Sometimes it’s about connection, pleasure, and communication⁠ (communication: Various ways we express ourselves to others, such as through speech, written words or symbols, sign language, body language, touch or art.) . Letting a partner see what feels good for you by and for yourself (and vice versa) can be intimate, educational, and affirming.

Where to get it? 

Where can I get it? Strokers can be purchased at any online or in-person sex shop. Most sex toy carriers default to discrete shipping, sending products in packages free of return addresses, shop name, or other identifiable information. But if discretion is a priority, take a moment to review the unique retailers’ privacy and shipping pages for more information about how the purchase will appear on bills and bank statements. 

Some big box stores also carry strokers, usually in the condom aisles. Just keep in mind that some retailers have an age restriction on sex toys and will ask to see an ID at checkout. You can find out⁠ (out: Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.) if your go-to store does by calling the info desk or checking the website.

What do they usually cost? Strokers have one of the widest price ranges across sex toy categories. Single-use strokers, which can be a great way to see if you even like the sensation, rarely cost more than $10. On the other end of the spectrum, luxury or vibrating strokers with multiple settings, suction, or app-controlled features can cost upwards of $200. This range means there’s likely a stroker out there for every budget, whether you’re just experimenting or looking for a long-term addition to your pleasure toolkit.

How should I pick the right one for me? Choosing your desert island stroker is all about finding one that matches your budget, body, and preferences. If you enjoy the gentle pressure of a hand or mouth, opt for a soft, open-ended sleeve made from silky silicone or TPE. Meanwhile, if you prefer a tight grip, consider a stroker with a firmer outer shell, motorized pressure, or built-in texture. And if you have limited hand or wrist mobility, consider motorized strokers that do some of the movement for you. A motorized toy may also be a good choice if you have experience with vibration and know you like it. 

Is there something I can find at home? Most strokers are designed as add-ons for hand sex, so the closest thing you’ll get to a stroker is your own hand. Incorporate store-bought lubricant or fragrance-free coconut oil (if you’re not allergic and not using latex barriers) can make your hand feel smoother, slipperier, and a little more toy-like.

Beyond your own body, there are a handful of household items you can DIY. The key is to stick with soft and non-abrasive items, such as a sock or washcloth, and limit use to your external body.