Bodies

Contrary to a common public opinion, there’s no right or wrong way to have sex. Bad sex – and what that even is varies from person to person – definitely happens, but usually only when there’s little to no communication, and one party isn’t attuned to the other’s needs. (I am speaking of consensual sex that’s just a stinker here, not about sexual assault.) Every person’s preferences are unique. An act or gesture that drives one person absolutely wild might fall flat for another. You might think, “Wow, my ex really loved it when I did this one certain thing, but my new partner barely responds to it at all.” This is just the nature of sex.

Women get a whole lot of messages about body hair. So how do we figure out what you want in terms of shaving and other personal grooming?

Being that we are, y’know, human women’s bodies are not pristine. When we have sex, all of our bodies’ small idiosyncrasies, quirks, and so-called “flaws” are on display. This is to be expected – our bodies’ natural functions are an inevitable part of life. Real-life sex often involves a lot of these functions in many different ways. These functions involve all manner of smells, sights, sounds, goops, juices, and fluids. Living in fear of these realities won’t do you any good; it helps to not only to coexist with them, but to embrace them as part of your awesome self.

I saw a young woman the other day who was in her late teens. I had a moment of admiring how strong her legs looked, how able her shoulders; where she had curves and where she didn’t, how kind of mixed-up and funky some of her coloring and parts were, a study in contrasts. It was a moment of…

Many women and girls feel insecure about sex, especially when it’s new. How can we build some sexual confidence?

Oh, pubic hair. One of those subjects that, when brought up, generally kick-starts a furious debate about which option (shaved, trimmed, left alone) is the most attractive, the most empowered, the most hygienic, etc. And, depending on how much you follow this debate, you may end up feeling like no…

Ever since puberty, I found my body to be a site of shame, something I desperately wanted to escape. A transplant to predominantly white Catholic schools on Long Island, I was immediately deemed ugly. I had an older sister, but we were close enough in age that we were navigating puberty around the same time. As second-generation daughters of immigrant parents, we were on our own as far as navigating the personal and social meanings of our bodies.

First off, I’m glad to hear that your relationship in general, including your sex life, sounds like it’s going well right now. That’s certainly a great place to start from! There’s no type of sex or orgasm that’s “better” or more appropriate for a certain point in a relationship than another. So if…

I think this is a really great question, and I admire how honestly you’ve asked something that leaves people feeling so vulnerable. It’s something we’ve had others bring up or ask about over the years, so it’s definitely relevant to more people than just yourself. And that includes people who did…

Before I say anything else, I know the answer to every question related to sex with an “Is it normal?” in it is something you’re supposed to answer yes to, and if you don’t, it can be perceived as not being nice or trying to hurt someone’s feelings. But please understand that “normal” isn’t a word I…