Sex & Sexuality

I think it might help if you made some adjustments to the way you think about intercourse and sex as a whole. You use the word penetration, and talk about what you’re doing as stabbing or a kind of invasion. I also hear you saying that sex is something you are doing to your partner or on your…

For some people, in some situations, sixteen is young to have sex. For some, it is too young. For others, it feels like an appropriate age, and others still, it’s felt okay to engage in sex at a younger age. Age-in-years, all by itself, doesn’t tend to be a good marker of when someone is or is not…

I think that when it feels like the only way you can get someone to take no or “I’m not ready yet” for an answer is to lie and say you were sexually assaulted, that you probably know all you need to know. Same goes for someone who you say you cannot sit down and talk to about saying you aren’t ready…

While it would be nice sometimes to have a fact sheet that listed everything every person enjoyed with sex – after a while it would become boring to have all the answers and the fun of discovery with partners would no longer be present. That said, I can’t tell you what position would be best for you…

Virginity is not something physical or medical. It’s a cultural idea, one which many people have different definitions of and opinions about, and one that not everyone even subscribes to in the first place. The idea that vaginas can be permanently loosened is a myth, and one we have addressed over…

There is no one sexual activity which we can know brings everyone to orgasm or even almost everyone. Even though plenty of people certainly enjoy oral sex, not everyone reaches orgasm that way, nor from any other one activity. Your ideas about that aren’t accurate, though I can certainly understand…

Just last Tuesday, right down the street from you, or perhaps even right where you live, two teenagers had sex for the very first time, and it was exactly as we all wish those first experiences to be. Or was it?

From both our personal experiences of our own varied sex lives, and in our work in sexuality with many other people, it seems pretty clear that really letting someone into an internal space in your body, or going into someone else’s insides – which we know might sound a little gross, but that is what’s going on with this stuff – is a fairly big deal for many people. So, what might make sexual entry different from other sexual activities?

A dildo – or any other sex toy – is not likely to do anything to the nerve endings within your vagina. In fact, it’s completely likely there isn’t a single thing wrong with you, and that nothing whatsoever has happened to your vagina to result in you feeling this way. As we’ve explained many times…

I’d like to focus this on the three primary issues you brought up here: your need for basic physical affection, your problem with upholding your own boundaries, and your ideas about how without intercourse, the sex you or anyone else are having cannot possibly satisfy either of you. On all of those…