friends

Being caught between more than one world can be a struggle, so here’s what to try.

There’s lots of advice out there on handling the end of a romantic relationship. What about a friendship?

When you’re growing up a bisexual guy, how can you come out or otherwise talk to your friends – be they straight or queer – about your sexuality?

Intellectually, I understand that success and safety do not invalidate struggle. I understand that I will feel the impacts of sexual violence regardless of how well I do in school or how much better life gets for me. But because a majority of people in my life only see the “successful” parts and not the difficult parts, and because so often people’s expectations of survivors stand counter to this, many people find it harder to believe that I’ve even experienced sexual violence. And that can make it harder for me and other survivors to emotionally feel and believe what we intellectually understand: our success does not invalidate our struggle.

Just like with any kind of relationship, there’s no way that a FWB setup looks for everyone who chooses one. The short answer is that being friends with benefits is whatever the people involved agree that it should be, so you’ll have to ask your potential partner some questions and share your own…

The number of people you choose to sleep with isn’t the crux of sexual liberation. People who choose to have sex with fewer (or no) people shouldn’t be ashamed, and neither should people who choose to have multiple partners. It’s all about the choice - having the agency to sleep with as many or as few people as you please. It doesn’t make you naïve or boring or a slut or a whore; it’s just a choice that you’ve made, and that in itself is sexually liberating.

Hi Susan, It sounds like you have two separate things going on here. We can break it down into smaller pieces and talk about them individually. 1. Your friend likes you, but you don’t like him like that. The most immediate thing is that your best friend has expressed a romantic interest in you…

For as long as I can remember, I have worked on cultivating strong and meaningful friendships. It’s through these friendships that I have discovered what I hope to get out of romantic relationships. My friendships teach me the importance of trust, communication, and commitment.

First off, I’m so glad that your family has shown you so much support. Everyone deserves to have loving support from friends and family if and when they choose to come out to them, and it’s great that your family’s standing behind you right now. Their acceptance and support of your bisexuality is a…

I’m so sorry to hear that your friends’ behavior has got you feeling this way, Liv. From the sound of things, even if they’re not doing it on purpose, they’re souring what otherwise sounds like something that’s been pretty nice for you and is also obviously a formative life experience. A first…