Advice

She likes hard manual sex, but I'm afraid I might hurt her!

jackson
Question

My girlfriend likes being fingered really hard. She likes two fingers as far as I can get them then to push up and pull out as hard as I possibly can against the bone. I absolutely hate this. It scares me that I might hurt her. So is okay to be that hard? will I hurt anything?

With any kind of manual sex⁠, there’s always a chance of abrasion. You can reduce this risk by wearing a latex glove or finger cots (they’re like condoms for your fingers), then applying water-based lube. This combination covers your fingernails, and it provides extra slickness so you won’t chafe her. Tell your girlfriend to let you know if she’s in pain so you can slow down. It’s important to communicate and not be afraid to give directions. But chances are, if she hasn’t told you to slow down already, it’s likely not causing her pain. Lastly, if you are truly uncomfortable with fingering her even with these precaution, then tell her it makes you uncomfortable. Then suggest you do something else instead.

    Similar articles and advice

    Article
    • Heather Corinna

    There’s a reason for taking things slowly, for putting off intercourse, or taking it away from center stage that often gets overlooked. I’m not talking about slowing things down for religious or moral ideals or social pressures. Not slowing things down to prevent STIs and pregnancy. Not even slowing things down for legal reasons or because of your age. I’m not talking about Just Say No, and I’m not talking about not having sex at all. I’m talking about PLEASURE.