Advice

She likes hard manual sex, but I'm afraid I might hurt her!

jackson
Question

My girlfriend likes being fingered really hard. She likes two fingers as far as I can get them then to push up and pull out as hard as I possibly can against the bone. I absolutely hate this. It scares me that I might hurt her. So is okay to be that hard? will I hurt anything?

With any kind of manual sex⁠, there’s always a chance of abrasion. You can reduce this risk by wearing a latex glove or finger cots (they’re like condoms for your fingers), then applying water-based lube. This combination covers your fingernails, and it provides extra slickness so you won’t chafe her. Tell your girlfriend to let you know if she’s in pain so you can slow down. It’s important to communicate and not be afraid to give directions. But chances are, if she hasn’t told you to slow down already, it’s likely not causing her pain. Lastly, if you are truly uncomfortable with fingering her even with these precaution, then tell her it makes you uncomfortable. Then suggest you do something else instead.

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    • Hollie West

    Hi there,

    You can relax; You’re normal. Ejaculate is usually a relatively small (teaspoon or so) amount of fluid, and generally doesn’t come out with such force that you should feel it. Some women say they CAN feel it, but you’re not abnormal for not being able to feel it, and there is nothing…