Question
I know this might be a bit of an out there topic but I'm so confused. I'm sure i'm a Lesbian but now I dont know what to do...I've never been with a guy or a girl, but I'd like to try with a girl, I'm just not sure of what to do when I go to cross that bridge.
The same way anyone else does. Which is to say, any vast number of different ways.
Sex isn’t just vaginal intercourse (vaginal intercourse: When a penis or sex toy is inserted into and held by the vagina while partners move their bodies as feels good to them for the purpose of either sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.) . Sex is any number of combinations of things people of all stripes do together to seek mutual sexual (sexual: About or relating in some way to sex or sexuality.) pleasure, and what those things or that combination are varies for everyone, even from day to day.
So, on a given day, Lesbian Couple A may want to engage in some mutual masturbation (mutual masturbation: When sexual partners masturbate together. Sometimes people also use “mutual masturbation” to mean manual sex (fingering or handjobs) done at the same time.) and some oral sex (oral sex: Use of the mouth, lips or tongue for sexual stimulation. Cunnilingus (“going down on”), fellatio (“blowjobs”) and analingus (“rimming”) are some common kinds of oral sex.) , while Lesbian Couple B may choose to engage in shared manual sex (manual sex: Sometimes also called digital sex. Kinds of sex involving the hands and fingers to sexually stimulate the genitals or other parts of the body. Fingering, handjobs or “fisting” (deep manual sex) are some kinds of manual sex.) and genital massage mixed in with some role play, and Lesbian Couple C may decide to do some big-time snuggling paired with strap-on play.
There’s really nothing heterosexual (heterosexual: Someone who is only or mostly emotionally and sexually attracted to people of a different sex or gender than they are themselves.) couples can do that lesbian (lesbian: Describes the sexual orientation of a woman who is sexually and emotionally attracted only or mostly to other women.) couples cannot: even vaginal intercourse isn’t exclusive (exclusive: Something that is not divided or shared with others; which excludes others based on a given criteria.) to heterosexuals, when it’s something lesbian cis women want, as it can be done either with hands or with sex (sex: Different things people choose to do to actively express or enact sexuality and sexual feelings; often this involves genitals, but not always. ) toys. That said, intercourse (intercourse: When people interlock their genitals and move together as feels good to them for the purpose of sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.) usually isn’t seen as “the” sex the way it can be in many male-female partnerships, given that a majority of women don’t find intercourse all by itself that satisfying, but plenty of hetero, cisgender (cisgender: Describes people who have a gender identity which is traditionally thought to “match” their assigned sex. For instance, someone who was assigned male at birth who identifies as a man. Often used in relation to transgender.) couples have, by now, clued into the fact that intercourse shouldn’t be the main thing on the menu, too. All the things most people think of as sex – making out (making out: A vague term, but often a session of extended activity that includes passionate or deep kissing, some kind of other body contact and may even include other kinds of sex, like manual sex (fingering or handjobs).) , frottage (frottage: Rubbing against the body of another person to express sexual feelings or seek out sexual pleasure. “Dry frottage” is done with clothing on (“Dry humping” is a form of frottage).) , manual sex, mutual masturbation, oral sex, vaginal intercourse, anal sex (anal sex: Sexual activity involving the anus. Anal sex may include stimulation with fingers, the mouth, a penis, sex toys, or other objects or body parts.) …you name it, lesbians can also do it.
Figuring out (out: Short for ‘out of the closet’. When someone’s LGBTQ+ identity is known to other people.) what it is exactly we do with any given partner (partner: In a sexual context, a person with whom someone is having some kind of sex. The term “partner” can be used for all kinds of relationships, not just serious ones. “Partner” can also mean the person someone is with in a romantic or familial partnership.) isn’t some script we follow, or determined based on what sets of chromosomes or genitals (genitals: Body parts that are generally, culturally, scientifically or personally considered to be external sexual or reproductive organs.) are in the mix, it’s about exploring our unique sexuality and theirs, communicating, experimenting, and varying what we do, and how we do it, based on mutual wants, needs and preferences.
