Relationships

When we talk about disabled people having awesome sex lives, sometimes something dehumanizing creeps into the mix: Some (usually nondisabled) people profess an “attraction to disability.” What they mean is they find disabled bodies — not disabled people — sexually stimulating. That means seeing your body as a sexual object. If that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up, you’re not alone.

What to do, and what to avoid like the plague, when you’re crushing on someone hard.

You’ve got a few layers to this question, so let’s peel them off and look at them one by one. Let’s get “is this normal” out of the way first. Normal is a deeply unhelpful concept when it comes to sex. We can talk about how common certain behaviors or desires are, although even then that may not be…

“He was genuinely trying to understand me and listen and everything, but he just didn’t get it, because he’s been watching porn for years and never really known anything else? About a week ago we were texting and he asked me if I had ever sexted with anyone before, and I said I had (which wasn’t a…

It’s not surprising that this situation has you confused. It feels straight out of a romantic comedy, and when you take the plot of a romantic comedy and plop it into the real world it tends to feel much less humorous and more like someone stuck your head and heart in a blender and hit the “on”…

First off, I want to talk about the idea of being “damaged goods.” I know this is a very common way to refer to people who have mental health struggles, or a history of trauma, but I encourage you to think about yourself, and other people who may be having similar concerns in their own lives, in a…

Breakups are rarely any fun, for either party involved. It can be hard to figure out a way to end a romantic relationship without causing too much pain or awkwardness, especially when you still really care about the person you’re breaking up with. Since it sounds like you’re pretty sure that this…

Hi there, I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so lonely. First I want to tackle the fact that your friends in relationships seem to be drifting away from you and your group of friends. It’s unfortunate, but it is common for many people to pull away from their friends when they enter a relationship…

A great part about doing sex ed is that it’s a place where you can ask questions about all aspects of relationships. What can sometimes get forgotten, even in sex positive spaces, is that for some people kissing is as big a deal as sex is. Let’s tackle the first thing I notice in your question: that…

My answer to your question is at once simple and really, really complicated: don’t ask your mom permission. You’re an adult, you don’t need her permission, or anyone’s, to explore sex. Truthfully, you didn’t need her permission when you were sixteen either. Even when you’re a kid, what you choose to…