Partnered Sex

Is what you want from sex with a partner realistic, or is it impossible, unlikely or out-to-lunch? Take a trip with us to go visit our pal reality.

Is your sex life or sexual relationship feeling like someone pressed the fast-forward button and now it’s spinning out of control? Evaluate whether things are moving too fast for you or a partner, and then get some help on pulling back the reins and slowing things down to a more comfortable pace.

We get a lot of questions from users who wonder whether there is a certain way they should act or feel or look, if the way they are doing things is weird or normal, or if there is something wrong with them or how they feel or act or look. I’d say that that topic is in the top three of our most…

From what I tend to observe, when someone like you is worried about what you’ll say exerting sexual pressure, but is coming from the wonderful, thoughtful kind of place that you are, these worries are often displaced. In other words, I’d say it’s highly likely that with how you feel about this…

I researched sex before diving in. Nearly every article and website felt like it carried another warning. Besides worrying me about STIs and pregnancy, my research was showing me that my first time was likely to be painful. I like to mentally prepare myself for things like this and I thought I knew what sex would be like. But, I’m very glad to say that my story is different. It’s good. No, it’s amazing.

A few years back I was at a sex and disability conference in San Francisco. Tom Shakespeare, an author, disabled activist, and disability scholar, was giving the opening talk and he began by saying that as disabled people the real problem is usually not how to have sex, but who to have sex with. Eli…

Hedo’s question continued: While I was working with her and experimenting with what she liked I got a lot of positive feedback and encouragement. It was very clear that she was enjoying what I was doing, which felt amazing for me, too. But after we finished and cleaned up she got withdrawn and…

Before I say anything else, I want to make sure that you understand that it’s okay for you to simply not feel like having sex, and to decide to not have it for the time being. You say you don’t like sex, and that’s absolutely valid: We don’t have to like it, at any given time or ever. Now, if you DO…

How about considering this in a different way? If and when you do have intercourse, some of what I’m about to say will probably be a big duh; be things you’ll find out for yourself. If you have already had other kinds of sex, you may know much of this already, but just not realize that as things…

It’s up to you to decide if this was sex and if this had anything to do with virginity. What I can do to help you with that is give you some definitions, backgrounds and perspective on those terms, some advice on making sexual choices in alignment with what you really want and feel ready for and…