Partnered Sex

Let’s toss out the idea of being “tight” because you haven’t done anything with anybody else. Sex of any sort (manual sex, intercourse, or whatever else) doesn’t permanently change the dimensions of one’s vagina. So thinking that people who haven’t engaged in vaginal or manual sex are tighter than…

If you feel like – and you seem to be very clearly saying you do – that YOU need to hold off on sex with someone new, for YOU, that’s really all you need to know. You’re the only person waiting needs to be okay with. If it’s not okay with anyone else, too bad for them. Some not-as-yet boyfriend…

Say you don’t really dig giving oral sex. That really is all there is to it. Very few people like to do EVERYTHING there is to do sexually. I bet your boyfriend doesn’t like to do everything any given partner of his might or will want to do, either. Maybe it’s that he doesn’t really like someone…

Congratulations, you’re totally normal! It’s strange the way that we often have expectations about the way things “should feel” or “should work” that are totally in opposition to the way that our bodies are made. The vagina itself is not particularly rich in nerve endings. Even more specifically…

You know, genitals smell like genitals smell like genitals. A bit musty, sometimes a bit acidic or salty. And with women, because of the phases of our fertility cycles, and the changes in our cervical mucus and vaginal discharges during every cycle, that smell isn’t always going to be identical. You…

Do you want to have a better sexual experience this time, as well as a relationship of real quality – in which someone loves, likes and cares for you just as you ARE, not based on a persona – with your new boyfriend? If you do, then it’s really important to be honest. When we’re dishonest with…

It sounds like he’s ramming into your cervix. A lot of people with vaginas really don’t like that ‘cause it can be painful. Look at this diagram from Innies & Outies and notice how the vagina ends at the tip of the cervix. The vagina is only about 4 or 5 inches deep, so if a penis is longer than…

Here’s the thing: when a person with a vagina is sexually aroused, in general, yheir vagina self-lubricates (becomes more wet), their clitoris and parts of the vulva become more erect, and the vaginal opening and vaginal canal relax and expand (become looser). So, to ask to be wet AND “tight” is a…

It’s pretty difficult when we let our self-worth get tied up in whether or not we “satisfy” a partner (especially based on criteria like orgasm). Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is explain what happened to your partner and be as honest as you can (which it sounds like you have been). What…

Sex doesn’t have to be (and for most people to feel satisfied, really shouldn’t be) only or solely about intercourse, and neither a smaller penis nor being of size means that sex has to be, or will be, unsatisfying for either partner. My good friend and colleague Hanne Blank literally wrote the book…