Identity

It’s been less than a year since I wrote a blog post like this. In that time, there has been an increased wave of right-wing attacks on trans youth at the state level, trying to ban young trans people from sports, trying to ban trans stories from shelves, trying to revoke your access to medical care…

The bimbo is a product of a misogynistic imagination, a sex object and an ableist stereotype. Her image is tied up in ageism as well, being forever young and childlike. Because the outlines of the bimbo stereotype are so bold, and her character so outrageous, she also makes perfect material for drag and other kinds of gender play and parody. And, because gender is weird, people have begun to mess with language so that people of all genders can play with it as well. But is all of this, like, okay?

It’s extremely disingenuous to pretend that everyone but men struggle with emotions, and doesn’t help liberate us from the toxic ideal that “real men don’t cry,” or exhibit sadness. Men who date other men have additional obstacles to navigate if both they and their partners have difficultly accessing vulnerability. That’s why I’d like to take the time with you to discuss how social norms have shaped the emotional health of queer men and how crucial vulnerability is as an empowering vehicle towards deeper connection and compatibility in your relationships. I’ll also share some tips with you on how to uncover your own latent feelings and offer some suggestions on how to share these thoughts with someone you’re interested in or dating.

As a writer and a reader, books have always been my constant companions: when I feel alone and isolated, they’re one of the first places I turn. We’ve got you here in our direct services at Scarleteen (and if you want to talk to a nonbinary person specifically, you can always ask for, or email, me or one of our other nonbinary team members, like Ruby or Jacob), but if you also like the company of books, here are a few books I like from nonbinary writers, about nonbinary identities and thought, relevant self-care or help sorting things out for yourself, and a couple of my favorite nonbinary or trans balms for the soul.

Historically, trans people and disabled people have had vocal training to change the way their voices sound; sometimes by choice and sometimes by way of strong culture pressure of what a gender and the voice of a person whose gender that is “should” sound like. Scarleteen volunteer Val was thrilled to sit down with a teacher who approaches the voice completely differently; not in the pursuit of “normal” or with an attitude of “fixing” but rather in the pursuit of uplifting self-expression and showing people the power of the tools their body has to express themselves.

Hi Sam! This is a great question. I love it for two reasons: first, because learning about feminism seems like a pretty great use for the internet, but far more importantly because you’re questioning the things you are reading and looking for additional perspectives so you can make your own mind up…

Relationships, like gender and sexuality, don’t fit into a binary. The phrase queer platonic, which comes from the asexual community, means a deep and meaningful intimate relationship which isn’t based on sex. You can have this with anyone – no matter their gender or sexuality. Perhaps if the term were more normalised (I hadn’t heard of it before researching this article), more people would be comfortable with such a relationship.

I’d like to have a frank discussion with you about where these anti-trans bills come from, what you can do to be informed about the rhetoric surrounding them, and how you can affirm yourself and practice self-care while you may hear and feel so many people being non-supportive or outright hateful about trans and gender-nonconforming people.

As you probably already know, there is a wave of horrible legislation that’s been moving through the United States with the aim of banning trans youth and trans folks of all ages from accessing everything from sports to life saving, gender affirming care. To all the trans and nonbinary young people…

One of the weirder things about being on the internet for a while is that you see the same arguments happening over and over again. I looked at your question, thought, “Didn’t this discussion just happen?” and then remembered that the round of discourse I had in mind took place a decade ago. Which…