support

A friend dying is usually a really big deal, especially when you’re young and death isn’t expected like it is when we’re 60, 70 or 80. While young people can sometimes feel like their lives are going to be short, I think it’s safe to say few people actually expect anyone’s life to end when they’re…

When we have any kind of trauma, we don’t tend to heal by blocking it out. Of course, we generally cannot simply “block out” memories by sheer force of will in the first place. But it’s certainly common to wish we could. By all means, you had extremely poor care at the hospital – I hate even…

I asked Hanne about this for you, and this was what she had to say: This is not a religious opinion – I’m by no means qualified to offer psok halacha in your community anyway. What it seems like you are asking is whether or not it is appropriate to offer a blessing to your friend on the occasion of…

I think it might help if you made some adjustments to the way you think about intercourse and sex as a whole. You use the word penetration, and talk about what you’re doing as stabbing or a kind of invasion. I also hear you saying that sex is something you are doing to your partner or on your…

For folks who have experienced any kind of sexual violation–including medical experiences that have felt violating–it makes some sense that you might have anxiety or fear about pursuing further care. I don’t know that I have The Answer for you when it comes to how to best manage this, but I do…

Before I say anything else, I want to be sure to connect you with a couple of avenues for help because I am very concerned about the state you’re in right now. Clearly – and it’s really common for this to happen – seeing your rapist has triggered a lot for you and clearly, you are in a state of…

HurtandUsed’s question continued He then went and put his hands down my pants and started touching me there. I wanted to say no, but I couldn’t because I was afraid he would get mad or break up with me. He then went and grabbed my hand and put my hand down his pants. I pulled my hand away but he…

Bravo to you for loving the way your girlfriend looks and seeing her beauty, both inner and outer! The truth of the matter is that many women are uncomfortable with their bodies and this starts at an amazingly young age. We (of all genders, though women are often targeted) are bombarded with media…

What is self harm? How does it – and can it – fit into a loving relationship? Will I ever be comfortable with my scars? One self-injurer speaks her pain and her peace.

It’s actually, in my book, not grey at all. I’m a very talented cook, and my friends love it when I cook for them. Some crave my meals intensely. If I have a friend over, and I have them smell some fresh basil I picked up at the market, show them a beautiful tomato from my garden, does my doing that…