sex

Let’s tackle those apparently “raging” hormones first. Having strong sexual desires is nothing to be ashamed of. People have a range of sex drives, from high to non-existent, and even then, that’s rarely static: in other words, it’s often less a “way people are,” than a way someone is at a given…

I want to get something basic and important sorted first: there’s never a healthy way to “get” anyone to have sex with us when they don’t want to. Someone either wants to be sexual with us or they don’t, and when they don’t, that’s something we just need to accept, not try and change. If and when we…

I don’t think these questions are silly or foolish. Most of us, and I count myself in this group, don’t get many opportunities to learn about our bodies, or much about sex, and find ourselves either figuring things out as we go along or searching for information to help us. Sometimes that’s even the…

For most of our global history, people have rarely been free from the judgment of others about their sexual lives. Unfortunately. Mind, we can say the same for pretty near every part of human life and behavior: some people are judgy or sanctimonious about some things sometimes, and some of those…

Want a quick way to sort out what does and does not pose real risks of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections? We’ve taken the temperature for you here.

Hey there, Dan. I’d never assume someone is dumb (including when someone is a young, a guy, or without a house, car or a job), nor do I think that having strong feelings for someone means a person is dumb. It sounds like you’ve had a pretty watershed emotional experience with this person, and…

What I’m hearing a lot of in this question is you wondering if you’re okay. So, I wanted to start out by saying: Yes, you are okay, just the way you are. I realize this may not be a comfort, but in spite of how it might seem, there are plenty of 19-year-old folks (plenty of folks of any age, for…

What I’m not hearing in this is what you want. You tell me he’s been touching your body more and more, but you didn’t say anything about if that’s something you want and have been enjoying. I hear the things he’s been saying, but I don’t know what you’ve been communicating to him yourself. The…

You did nothing wrong. The idea someone “asks for” something they don’t want, something that they experience as a violation, is a trope that I wish would go the way of the dodo bird. Understand, I’m not upset with you for saying that; I’m upset with the culture that sends messages that make you…

People do say that people are ready for sex – and not just the first time, either – at different times, different ages and in different situations. And that’s absolutely right. Whether we do or don’t want any kind of sex at any given time, with any given person, in any given situation, and also…