gender

You can – and should, in my book – talk about this with him in advance if you have this concern. Neither men nor women lack the ability to be sure, when having any kind of sex with a partner, that we are paying just as much attention to them and what they want as we are to ourselves and what we…

Who says you’re not as hot as someone who weighs less than you, gal? In other words, it’s entirely possible this guy is attracted to a hot girl: you. Not everyone shares the same aesthetics when it comes to who we’re attracted to, nor does everyone subscribe to a given set of beauty ideals or…

No, it isn’t. It’s not always true for men either, nor is there a sound reason why it would be more true for women than it would be for men. As well, if women have a female first sex partner, or men a male first sex partner, there also is no golden rule or given about if any of us will have long…

Without some help…no. In order for a pregnancy to occur, the first thing you need is a sperm and an egg. Individuals who have ovaries are going to be able to provide the ovum (or egg) while individuals who have testes are going to provide the sperm. So if you have two individuals who have ovaries…

Well, if the woman in question took a pen and wrote “I’m a virgin!” on her forehead, that might tell you something. However, otherwise there are not any signs one can look for to determine virginity short of asking the person in question. Virginity is not really a physical issue so much as it is a…

When a person, behaving in a healthy way, chooses not to tolerate a certain dynamic in a relationship they dislike or which makes them unhappy, what they choose to do is set a limit. If that limit is not respected by a partner, they then terminate the relationship and potentially contact with that…

Well, not all men do freeze up when asked (and not all men watch porn, either). For that matter, some women also watch pornographic movies, and they don’t all become mute when you ask them about it, either. As someone who has written on these issues a lot over the last ten years, and asks others…

What if it’s not about her coming out of her shell, but about the fact that she is NOT strongly attracted to girls, or attracted to girls at all? A person’s gender identity doesn’t determine their sexual orientation. In other words, very “girly” girls can be and are attracted to women (or people of…

You know, hormonal birth control often reduces or inhibits sexual desire or arousal for the person using it, too. For some people, pretty substantially. It does so because of what it does to a body hormonally: the only way condoms inhibit arousal or libido is if a guy using them (or opting not to)…

I think it’s sage to listen to yourself when you say that maybe you don’t want to get into something you’re both not sure about and are not sure you’ll like. If only one partner has any interest in doing an activity, and the other either has none, or is opposed to it, it’s generally best to just…