consent

When Sex is Just a @#*&!ing Bummer

Sometimes sex is amazing. Other times, it's nice. Then there are the times it sucks. How do you deal, and what's the hidden value in not-at-all-awesome sex?

A Disabled Persons Guide to Talking with Your Partner(s) About Sex

Disabled people get a lot of practice telling people about our bodies: doctors, therapists, care workers, or people in our support networks like family and friends. It's so important to be able to tell our partners how to support and pleasure us in the ways that work for us, but even though we’ve got all that practice, this conversation can still be really hard to start. Here's some help.

Impurity Culture: Surviving Virginity

Maybe you grew up in purity culture. Even if you didn’t, you’ve probably encountered and have to live with its ideas about virginity. I want to unpack some of those things, and consider what’s true and what isn’t.

Scarleteen Mix #6: Consenting and Other Sexual Communication

Real-deal consent requires clear, open and honest communication. And if we're going ahead and actually being sexual together in some way,  that also means an ongoing, nuanced and pretty highly situational process of communication, not just one or two super-quick, super-basic exchanges.

Not only is communication as a process essential to keeping it consensual, it's a big part of sex actually being any good for everyone involved.

How can I help my boyfriend be more sex-positive?

Anonymous asks:
My boyfriend and I have been together for several years, and I feel like generally we have a good sex life. When we first started, I faked a lot of orgasms, because I often wasn't getting enough natural lubrication to finish, a lot of which I think is because I'm on the pill....

No. More.

What should you do when someone says no to or otherwise refuses or declines your romantic or sexual gestures or asks Accept it and stop making those gestures or asks. That's the right answer every single time: just accept someone's no and then back right off.

Asking or otherwise pressing over and over isn't the right answer. "Not giving up" (which often looks a whole lot like harassment) isn't the right answer.  Trying to get them to change their mind isn't the right answer.  Trying to get them to change their mind through their friends or family also isn't the right answer. And while it should be obvious, we so sadly know that it isn't: no kind of violence is ever the right answer.