boundaries

With any kind of manual sex, there’s always a chance of abrasion. You can reduce this risk by wearing a latex glove or finger cots (they’re like condoms for your fingers), then applying water-based lube. This combination covers your fingernails, and it provides extra slickness so you won’t chafe her…

You know, whether or not a boyfriend wants something from you does not obligate you to give it to him (and vice-versa). I’d totally be down for ditching work for an hour and having sex with my partner right this second. But he’s upstairs in his office doing work for himself right now which he needs…

As loving and wonderful as your girlfriend may be, she needs to understand that you have boundaries, too. Negotiating sex can be a major hurdle for many couples, and there are a lot of people in your position – you are trying to live your life by a certain batch of morals, and they’re in conflict…

For the record, there isn’t anything abnormal about oral sex: it’s a very common practice. People (and other animals) have been engaging in oral sex for a mighty long time. As well, the risks of infections from oral sex are actually substantially less in most cases than from vaginal intercourse, and…

Your girlfriend is being VERY sensible, whether you may happen to believe it or not. People with vaginas have a LOT at stake when they become sexually active. They are more prone to infections than people with penises. And yes, they can get pregnant, which is a very taxing process for her body…

You know, while five years isn’t a big age difference between people who are, say 35 and 40, it can be a lot bigger between people who are 15 and 20. Think abut it like this: at 20, your boyfriend has literally already lived 25% longer than you have, just a little less than you’ve outlived someone…

Virginity, in and of itself, is a societal concept not a medical one. Certainly there used to be the thought that as long as a woman had a hymen, she was a virgin (and unfortunately some people still subscribe to this belief). However, a hymen is just thin, flexible folds of mucous tissue that…

Readiness for sex isn’t something that only happens once, or happens once at a certain age. It can be normal at any age, in any situation, for any person not to feel ready for any kind of sex with a partner. When we’re first ready is going to vary a lot from person to person, based on our life…

When someone asks me a sex readiness question, one of the big things I look for is that the onset of sex in a relationship is about more than one person mostly or solely initiating. In other words, I hear you telling me that he says you can stop if you want to, and that tells me he’s probably the…

Before the two of you do anything sexual, I’d say it’s REALLY important that you work out the issue of him seeing sex as a way for you to prove your love. It’s not. Take a look at the bare basics from our Sex Readiness Checklist: If either of you wants to do it because you feel you must or should…