advice

Captain Awkward

A blog offering advice on a variety of topics, including relationships, abuse, boundary setting, and how to have tough conversations.

It’s All Right: There Is No One Right Time to Start Dating

Many social norms, macro or micro, can make it seem like the ideal — or even only! — time to start having dating experiences is in high school. You may get the message that doing it any other time, even just waiting until you’re in college, puts you at  some kind of disadvantage. To go against that grain may inspire some social judgement of you and, at least in my case, leave you wondering if you’re just fulfilling a harmful stereotype about what autistic people are capable and incapable of doing. Even if it’s impossible to remember amidst the din of outside messaging world, there is no one right time for dating. That’s as true for neurodivergent folks, including those of us on the autism spectrum, as it is for neurotypical members of the world.

Scarleteen Confidential: Ten Questions with Scott Todnem about Puberty, Masculinity, and Raising Boys

We encourage parents and guardians to have honest, supportive conversations with young people about sex and relationships. Because we know that can sometimes be intimidating, we're always on the lookout for resources to help with the trickier parts of those interactions, which is why we were excited to read the recently released Sex Education for Boys: A Parent's Guide: Practical Advice on Puberty, Sex, and Relationships by Scott Todnem. Scott chatted with us about how the book came to be, how to model positive masculinity, and the different challenges that come with raising boys.

Can You Be Yourself On Dates?

If you’re like me, there are lots of questions that race through your mind when you prepare to go out on a date. Do I look polished enough? Am I going to click with this person? Did we pick the right venue to go out to? And then there’s the one question always gnawing at the back of my skull about my autism: can I be myself?

Finding Our Light in The Dark: An Interview with Author Kimberly Dark

"Folks, the main thing I hope to realize is that you are a very powerful social creator, no part of human culture exists without humans creating it and you literally have the power to do that. Of course, you don’t have all the power, but listen: power is not just out there in some kind of blob form, power is inside of everyone of us. We don’t have all the power but we have our power and we can decide how to use it."

My clitoris is an "innie" -- how can I keep it clean?

Anonymous asks:
My clitoris is deeply covered by the clitoral hood. It’s sort of like my clit is an “innie.” To expose the “nub”/harder part I have to pull back the skin of the hood a lot. When I do that I often see it’s not clean! :( Stuff seems to gather... like little white lint from TP or sanitary products (or who knows). It’s hard to get in there! Any advice?...

Is gender a social construct? Being an ally on social media

Anonymous asks:
I’m a 21 year old college student who is interested in being a better ally to my LGBTQ friends. I’ve joined the alliance at college and sometimes have discussions with the club about LGBTQ issues.I have fun, and it’s a good experience. Sometimes though, especially on social media, I feel like I need to agree with the most “progressive” side in order to be taken seriously as an ally....

How Do I Tell If Someone Is Into Me?

You can read a book. You can read a map. But reading people, that’s difficult in any situation. Reading people to figure out if they’re actually into you romantically or sexually is even more difficult. Douglas Laman is here to give fellow autistic readers a little help.

Music With Lyrics: Finding Your Way Back to Yourself After Sexual Assault

The term itself is insufficient and sounds oddly trivial. The word ‘stealth’ has various associations in the Oxford English Dictionary (2020), including ‘secretly and without right or permission’, ‘clandestinely’, ‘furtive’. A stealth action happens quickly and slyly, like the swiping of an appetising sweet by a small child before their parent sees. But stealthing does not just happen surreptitiously, swiftly, or without the total awareness of the victim.