sexuality

Hey Anon: I’m sorry about the loss of your Mom. Often Dads really can do just as good a job in terms of talking about these things, so if he’s open to it, you might want to consider talking to him. But obviously, what’s important is that you have someone to talk to you feel comfortable talking to…

Hey there, Naptha. You’re right: while masturbation teaches us plenty about our own sexual responses, likes and dislikes, it IS very different from partnered sex. To boot, seems you’re finding out one of the lessons a lot of folks often aren’t prepared for with any new partner, and that’s that with…

The exact same way he can tell about you: by asking him. Then you take one another at your word. If you don’t feel you can, that’s another issue entirely. I’m not sure why he needs to have asked you any more than once, unless the two of you aren’t dating exclusively, and are seeing other people. If…

It strikes me as a bit odd to consider upping the ante to vaginal intercourse when as things are now, you’re not feeling sexually satisfied, and when you also express strong reservations about it. I’d suggest that before you step it up to add a sexual activity which carries greater risks – of…

Hey Kayo, Nothing to be embarrassed about I promise! Here are some answers: 1) When it comes to changing positions, most of the time nobody knows what position comes next. If you change position during sex (and lots and lots of people never do) you usually do it because one or the other partner…

Your partner has no way of knowing for sure that you’ve had an orgasm if you’re a person with a vagina. None, save you telling them so. Sometimes, if your partners have their hands, mouths or genitals inside ours or right on them, they can feel some uterine and vaginal muscle contractions when we…

Hey, Jessie. You know, it’s normal for anyone, of any gender, and with any level (or lack) of sexual experience to feel attraction or a desire to have sex, and then to change your mind, or feel uncomfortable about pursuing sex, at any time, for any number of reasons. For instance, it may well be…

There are a few likely possibilites for this. One might be plain old vasocongestion – when a person becomes sexually aroused, the whole pelvic area fills with blood, which is how erection happens in penis, and vulval engorgement – swelling of the clitoris and vulva – happens in those body parts…

Hey, Katie. Well, in most people with vaginas there is a “skin thing,” at least at the beginning, and that’s the hymen. But it rarely is “popped” or needs to be “broken” by sex. The hymen is made up of thin folds of tissue that, when we’re young, mostly covers the vaginal opening. It’s right there…

My guess would be that rather than missing “extras,” you’re missing basics. If any genital contact feels blah to you, or just like someone was patting you on the back, my first suggestion would be to make sure that when any kind of sex happens – even masturbation – you’re really feeling aroused…