sex

Contrary to a common public opinion, there's no right or wrong way to have sex. Bad sex -- and what that even is varies from person to person -- definitely happens, but usually only when there's little to no communication, and one party isn't attuned to the other's needs. (I am speaking of consensual sex that's just a stinker here, not about sexual assault.) Every person's preferences are unique. An act or gesture that drives one person absolutely wild might fall flat for another. You might think, "Wow, my ex really loved it when I did this one certain thing, but my new partner barely responds to it at all." This is just the nature of sex.

Women get a whole lot of messages about body hair. So how do we figure out what you want in terms of shaving and other personal grooming?

Being that we are, y'know, human women's bodies are not pristine. When we have sex, all of our bodies' small idiosyncrasies, quirks, and so-called "flaws" are on display. This is to be expected -- our bodies' natural functions are an inevitable part of life. Real-life sex often involves a lot of these functions in many different ways. These functions involve all manner of smells, sights, sounds, goops, juices, and fluids. Living in fear of these realities won't do you any good; it helps to not only to coexist with them, but to embrace them as part of your awesome self.

Many women and girls feel insecure about sex, especially when it's new. How can we build some sexual confidence?

Oh, pubic hair. One of those subjects that, when brought up, generally kick-starts a furious debate about which option (shaved, trimmed, left alone) is the most attractive, the most empowered, the most hygienic, etc. And, depending on how much you follow this debate, you may end up feeling like no...

I'm going to answer your first question last. What would I, personally, do if I found out my partner had engaged in oral sex (or any other kind of sex) a certain number of times? I'd figure their sexual past is theirs to judge as they please and would hope they thought the same way about my past. I...

Let's tackle those apparently "raging" hormones first. Having strong sexual desires is nothing to be ashamed of. People have a range of sex drives, from high to non-existent, and even then, that's rarely static: in other words, it's often less a "way people are," than a way someone is at a given...

I want to get something basic and important sorted first: there's never a healthy way to "get" anyone to have sex with us when they don't want to. Someone either wants to be sexual with us or they don't, and when they don't, that's something we just need to accept, not try and change. If and when we...

I don't think these questions are silly or foolish. Most of us, and I count myself in this group, don't get many opportunities to learn about our bodies, or much about sex, and find ourselves either figuring things out as we go along or searching for information to help us. Sometimes that's even the...

For most of our global history, people have rarely been free from the judgment of others about their sexual lives. Unfortunately. Mind, we can say the same for pretty near every part of human life and behavior: some people are judgy or sanctimonious about some things sometimes, and some of those...