relationships

Really, truly, the longer we’re in relationships, the more we’re going to go through times when for one partner or the other – sometimes both – libidos are low or sex just isn’t a high priority. That’s okay. To expect our sex lives as time goes on to resemble how they were when we were brand new…

What you’re describing here comes down to a word that many people interested in psychology would term “displacement.” The theory of displacement was first brought about by the well known Sigmund Freud to describe the idea that when a person is upset, they shift their impulses from an unacceptable…

A basic lowdown on interpersonal abuse and assault: what all the terms mean, why strangers are the least of our worries, what a cycle of abuse looks like, how you can start seeing abuse for what it is, where it is, and how to protect yourself and others and make abuse stop.

Frankly, if your first thought is to try and change your body – rather than to change the dynamic of this relationship or get out of it – something is horribly amiss. Your husband is clearly ignorant when it comes to bodies. A penis – be it his or anyone else’s – doesn’t have the capacity to…

You just take whatever time you need, at whatever pace you need, to build trust with a new partner or potential partner. Being assaulted of course impacts how we trust people and makes it more difficult to trust, especially when you were assaulted by people who you trusted, who those around you…

A partner addressing your worries or nervousness about any kind of sex by telling you you need to “grow up,” needs to grow up WAY more than you do. In a word, if that’s how he responds to this, I’m less worried about him dumping you, and more concerned about you sticking around with the likes of him…

When I was very little, I developed really severe atopic eczema. My parents and doctors had the worst time getting it under control, but eventually they managed to find the right set of lifestyle changes and medications to take care of the problem. I didn’t really have a lot of issues (as long as I…

The answer to that question depends entirely on the parents in question. Parents are people and many have sexual desires just as do folks who don’t have children. Just like anybody else, folks who are parents may have more or less sex of any given type throughout their lives. In general, we do know…

When someone asks me a sex readiness question, one of the big things I look for is that the onset of sex in a relationship is about more than one person mostly or solely initiating. In other words, I hear you telling me that he says you can stop if you want to, and that tells me he’s probably the…

We get a LOT of questions like this, every single day, and have for as long as we’ve been online. Here are just a few more recent ones: I have been with my boyfriend for the last three years, and just last May we had sex for the first time. I was a virgin, he was not. We have had sex on a few…