relationships

I experienced bisexual erasure when I was a teenager. The first crushes I remember having were on boys, but I’ll never forget the first time I met a girl and felt weak in the knees. I was thirteen years old. A year later I heard the term bisexual for the first time and felt like it described me.

I’m so sorry that you have been in this situation, Michael. It sounds stressful and heartbreaking. Let’s see if I can help a little. Before I say anything else, I want to strongly suggest that you do not have any sex, of any kind, with anyone, that you do not also very much want yourself. It’s no…

If you’re like me, there are lots of questions that race through your mind when you prepare to go out on a date. Do I look polished enough? Am I going to click with this person? Did we pick the right venue to go out to? And then there’s the one question always gnawing at the back of my skull about my autism: can I be myself?

Dynamics like mine require a lot of honesty, and often speaking honestly can make you feel vulnerable, but showing vulnerability to a partner is a good way to build trust and intimacy. At the same time, you learn a lot about yourself as you’re forced to ask yourself tough questions and to think carefully about what you want from a relationship and why - in turn, this makes you appreciate the reasons you want to be with your partner(s), and what it is about being with them that makes you happy.

First off, you aren’t alone in being turned off by “hardcore BDSM” or in feeling like you aren’t really seeing a wider range of nuanced depictions of dominant/submissive relationships with which you might identify more easily. It’s true that there’s a mainstream image of d/s dynamics that many…

In my experience, disclosure is an ongoing conversation and there is no single “correct” way to do it, but there are ways our partners can be stronger allies.

Suddenly, a person you’ve been regularly communicating with is M.I.A. Without warning, a fixture of recent life can become a memory. Somebody you’d bonded with has abruptly stopped contacting you. The text messages have ceased, all traces of their presence in your life have been yanked away by them, and without warning or explanation. But just because the experience is stressful doesn’t mean it’s impossible to endure. There are ways for autistic people to come out the other side of getting ghosted.

When you gain weight and want to talk about it – whatever your feelings about it are – with partners or others you’re in intimate relationships with, how can you do that, especially in a world where so few people are equipped with the skills to talk about weight in healthy, sensitive, supportive ways?

Being autistic, some things just haven’t come as naturally for me as they seem to for other people. Unfortunately, these have included hallmarks of American life often used to symbolize being “an adult” like driving on my own or getting my first paid job. But human beings are not on a strict timetable to do all the same things at the same time. This is just as true of dating like anything else. Just because you (or I) haven’t been actively dating when a lot of other people in your life have doesn’t make you (or me) a failure. You’re just on your own timetable. So am I.

Two smart, insightful and autistic people who like talking about relationships walk into an interview…