It’s extremely disingenuous to pretend that everyone but men struggle with emotions, and doesn’t help liberate us from the toxic ideal that “real men don’t cry,” or exhibit sadness. Men who date other men have additional obstacles to navigate if both they and their partners have difficultly accessing vulnerability. That’s why I’d like to take the time with you to discuss how social norms have shaped the emotional health of queer men and how crucial vulnerability is as an empowering vehicle towards deeper connection and compatibility in your relationships. I’ll also share some tips with you on how to uncover your own latent feelings and offer some suggestions on how to share these thoughts with someone you’re interested in or dating.
masculinity
- Gabriel Leão
Machismo is an expression of exacerbated masculinity that has caused lingering pain and trauma to generations of Latinx people. Many young people are still struggling with it today.
- Noah Zazanis
Gender norms are really hard, but are much easier to deal with when we learn we’re not alone. When we can talk openly about the pressures we’re feeling, and realize that those pressures don’t have to control their lives, we can start figuring out ways to resist them.
- Heather Corinna
Messages parents or guardians have given our users about gender come up frequently, and often problematically. As feminists and queer activists, we address gender stereotyping often in our content and conversations around women and gender nonconforming people of many stripes (or polka dots, whichever one prefers), and we know the weight of it all too well. But gender stereotyping is not just everybody’s problem, it’s a problem for everybody, and that includes for men, and the problems, for everybody, many gender stereotypes about men create.
- Mo Ranyart
It is absolutely okay to watch Crazy, Stupid Love (which is actually mostly about men in the first place!) or any other "chick flick" or romantic comedy that catches your eye or interest. Some types of movies are marketed more towards men or women, but that doesn't mean people of other genders can't...
- Heather Corinna
There are gay or bisexual men who love or like anal sex, it's true. But there are also gay or bisexual men who don't like it, or who just aren't interested in it. There are heterosexual men who don't like anal sex or aren't interested in it, either. There are also heterosexual men who like or love...
- Heather Corinna
I'm so sorry that this is how you have been feeling about yourself, and that you're hurting so badly and feeling so fearful of yourself. I'm beyond sorry to hear that you hate yourself. Those are all terrible, debilitating ways for someone to feel. But I'm very glad that you've asked me for help...
- Heather Corinna
What our identity is in terms of our gender isn't about what someone else decides or presumes--it's up to us to reflect on our experiences and feelings about who are are on the inside, and to label that (or choose not to label it) in whatever way feels true to us as individuals. What feels right and...
- Heather Corinna
What a person wants and enjoys in media -- including pornography -- may or may not have any relationship to what they want and enjoy in real life. That's often particularly the case with fantasy media, which pornography usually very much is. A big part of viewing, reading, or otherwise engaging in...
- Heather Corinna
(pagangirl's question continued) To me, my boyfriend had been the perfect picture of masculinity--what I wanted in a man. After this revelation, I feel an aversion to him. I see him differently, and more than anything, I can't get the thought that he's gay out of my mind. I know I should be more...