healing

Why are certain types of touch so important to our relationships? How does culture and identity affect how we think about touch as a form of social communication?

Before I say anything else (and I’ve got a lot, so go on and put your feet up: this is big stuff, so you deserve big responses), I want to make a couple things super-clear. One: you get to have whatever kind of mutually consensual sexual life it turns out feels right for you, even if that turned out…

How do you support a teen as they recover from sexual assault?

frenchiemathwhiz’s question continued: I was standing by him because I’ve freaked out about stuff before, and I thought he was there for me. But apparently not. Anyway, we were each other’s first sexual partners—vaginal, oral, etc. I’m moving to a new city and a new job in a few weeks (something I…

This question comes up for a lot of people. In the past couple of weeks, I think I’ve talked to three or four different people about this issue, so I’m really glad you’ve asked this here, as it’s clearly important to you and to many others. It sounds like the journey you’ve taken to the point of…

The big emotion that comes through what you’ve written here isn’t love or loyalty. It’s anger. Big, big anger, in giant waves, in what you’re saying and in how you’ve said it. There is so much here – far more, I think, than your boyfriend using porn, or what’s in the porn he’s looking at – that a…

antogone68’s question continued: I think this was probably for a number of reasons: being busy at university and perhaps having a naturally low sex drive after the honeymoon period of a relationship. However, I also think my sexual assault had something to do with it. I still find physical intimacy…

I think you just said two things you could tell him right there. “I am very uneasy about this,” or “I am very uneasy about this because I have been sexually abused.” Whichever you feel most comfortable with, both of those things are fine things to say, things I think we should be able to say with…

I want to first tell you a few things you should know are true. Whatever it turns out your sexuality and relationships are like, whatever it turns out you want from them, they’re about much, much more than your abuse. Because we’ve been abused doesn’t mean either or both of those things will be all…

I would not, and cannot, give you advice on how to feel differently than you do, or on how to hide your feelings. Instead, I would only – and could only, in good conscience – advise you NOT continue to be intimate with this person again and ideally not to stay in a relationship with this person at…