consent

We’ve been receiving and answering a lot of questions like yours lately, but I think it’s really important to keep talking about if people keep asking. Because we keep hearing girls asking questions like this about guys, it seems clear there are a lot of people who aren’t getting some things we…

I’m not concerned about you looking desperate by doing anything to try and convince your partner to have sex it seems he’s made clear he’s not comfortable having. What I am concerned about with any situation like this is, instead, your partner possibly not having his limits and boundaries respected…

I’m so sorry that you’ve found yourself in what sounds like some big time bad-news dynamics. There are some things where not being in agreement isn’t a big deal, or is problematic, but not massive. However, having conflict about sex and reproduction like this, especially if one person refuses to…

I think you just said two things you could tell him right there. “I am very uneasy about this,” or “I am very uneasy about this because I have been sexually abused.” Whichever you feel most comfortable with, both of those things are fine things to say, things I think we should be able to say with…

Let’s talk about what’s real when it comes to the size and shape of the labia and mons first, then address harassment. There’s nothing ridiculous about asking this, and nothing ridiculous about looking for comfort and reassurance after you’ve been sexually harassed. Harassment tends to leave us…

Words for gender, sexual or other kinds of identity don’t usually mean the same things to all people. In fact, they very, very rarely do. Those words also can never tell us all or even most of what someone is comfortable with sexually, what their sexual boundaries and limits are and what they are…

helovesme31’s question continued: He used to smoke weed but he stopped cause I didn’t approve. I’m thankful he made that change but now I feel pressured into having sex with him. I lost my virginity to a big ass sleazy guy and then kept having sex with other men, they really were mean telling me I…

I would not, and cannot, give you advice on how to feel differently than you do, or on how to hide your feelings. Instead, I would only – and could only, in good conscience – advise you NOT continue to be intimate with this person again and ideally not to stay in a relationship with this person at…

From what I tend to observe, when someone like you is worried about what you’ll say exerting sexual pressure, but is coming from the wonderful, thoughtful kind of place that you are, these worries are often displaced. In other words, I’d say it’s highly likely that with how you feel about this…

I’m a little uncomfortable with how you’re framing this. I’ll do my best to fill you in on why. It’s also really tough for me to answer your question given the way it’s framed. I’ll explain that, too. When someone suggests they want sex with someone, and seems to be suggesting that sex would EVER be…