advice

Choices about sex and intimacy will always involve some risks, and making sound choices when risks, emotions and social high stakes are involved isn’t something anyone is magically expert at. How can we learn to do it well, and what are some common things that trip us up?

Figuring out who you are as a sexual being, and what your sexual experiences mean to you, in a world full of double standards and outdated definitions can be quite confusing. Here’s my story of “losing my virginity” and finding my identity when it comes to sex.

Hi feministconundrums, Genital sensitivity – and sometimes sensitivity of some other body parts, too – is common for many people after orgasm. The length of time after an orgasm that it can or does last varies from person to person, experience to experience and it can often vary with age too. It…

In a sentence: you could just take one out of your bag, hand it to your partner, and say “Here, put this on.” Or, “Let’s get a condom on first.” Or, if you want to keep the touch between the two of you going without a condom-stop, how about, “Why don’t I slide this on for you.” Remember, you can put…

tsunamichick’s question continued: Then a week later my doctor called me to have me come in that day and I couldn’t wait 4 more days to discuss it. She told me that I had high risk HPV and she suggested a cone biopsy or LEEP procedure. I then went to see the specialist who said I had some stage 3…

Have all of your straight friends had sex with a guy if they’re girls, or with a girl if they’re guys? If not, how do they know they’re straight? See how silly that is? Hopefully they will, too. It’s not sage to make orientation something anyone needs to “prove” with sex for a whole lot of reasons…

When it comes to sex with and for only yourself – masturbation – it should be just like sex with a partner when it comes to if you do it or not. If it’s something you want to do and feel comfortable doing, then you can choose to do it. If it’s not something you want or don’t feel comfortable with…

(Michelle’s second post:) I previously sent you a question on what to do with my ex-boyfriend. Now it’s even worse. I don’t know if he’s being truthful or not, and I don’t know how to move on. He’s hurting me in every possible way. He had a pool party yesterday and my my best friend was there. My…

Life has scripts. Little socially-agreed plays that we enact rather than trying to figure out all our interactions from scratch every time. Many of them are very simple. There’s also scripts for sex. Unfortunately, the most common script out there is terrible.

I’m most interested in how you feel now about this, and separate from how you think everyone else would feel. Hopefully, if you haven’t identified your own feelings yet, my answer can give you some help doing that. So, values. Here’s the thing about values: they aren’t universal. They also aren’t…